


Save Me

by Yoruai (yoruai)



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Dubious Ethics, Jumin Route Spoilers, Jumin is Bad at Feelings, Jumin is a kinky daddy, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Recovery, Shower Sex, Slow Build To Healthy Relationship, Thigh Play, Unhealthy Relationships, V and Yoosung have a happy relationship because I say so., Zen Needs a Hug, Zen Route Spoilers, Zen turns into a power bottom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-08-30 13:03:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 41,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8534212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoruai/pseuds/Yoruai
Summary: Zen was broken. Someone broke him and Jumin wanted to fix him. Too bad Jumin didn't realize he himself had been broken for a long time, and all that would come out of this would be more broken pieces between them. AU where the MC doesn't exist and reality for the MM team is somewhat different. I smashed together Zen's 3rd bad end and Jumin's 2nd bad end. Major spoilers for both routes.





	1. All These Broken Pieces

Jumin Han was having a very bad week.

It started out okay enough, Zen harping on and on about how he was excited to have a roll cast in the mountains. Jaehee was equally excited for him, no doubt saving up money so she would have enough for whatever special edition packages the movie would come out in. Seven was being Seven, and Yoosung was recalling a meeting he had with V fondly, surprising everyone at how happy he sounded.

The cacophony was Jumin's peace. Despite how he acted he looked forward to reading messages from his fellow RFA members and contributing to their chats.

Seven’s ridiculous banter.

Yoosung’s innocent remarks.

Jaehee’s witty comebacks as she scolded the two.

And Zen… no matter how much Zen would say the two of them didn’t get along, Jumin liked talking to Zen the most.

Watching Zen put him down with brutal honesty was refreshing in it’s own strange way. No one would ever backtalk him like that in the RFA or otherwise, and seeing that in the morning always put a smile on his face for some reason. Getting a rise out of him was fun too, and no matter how offended Zen seemed to get he always snapped back to his cheerful narcissistic self. When they were done with their spats the messenger would be flooded with his selfies and his flirty words to the other members.

Yes his week started out fine, but the week gave way to other things.

His father had a new girlfriend; Glam Choi, and she was adamant about meeting him.

Rescheduling to fit her sporadic needs for his father's sake was a pain, but he had endured this with his father's past lovers, so he persevered. This, however; left him little time for the misadventures of his RFA comrades.

He still checked in from time to time. Zen had gone to the mountains and hadn’t been back for a few days. Jaehee obviously missed his selfies,  and voiced quite often she was upset he wasn’t updating his blog. Seven was spamming selfies of himself in various cosplay outfits to cheer her up, though it only seemed to be making her question Seven’s hobbies.

Yoosung was surprising him the most. V was spending more time with him, and the two were practically living together despite Yoosungs normal abrasion to the mint haired photographer. They were genuinely happy these past few days, and Jumin was happy for them in turn.

Still, appeasing his fathers new girlfriend was causing work upon work to pile up. Between keeping the company running and finding out his father had found him "The perfect Fiancee" he was exhausted. Checking the messenger every few days turned into checking it once every other week.

A little over a month passed, and he was finally able to find a small reprieve. His father and Glam were taking a holiday to the Bahamas, and he wouldn't be in contact with them for a while.

He saw his father off at the airport, finished work, headed home, and curled up with Elizabeth 3rd as he logged onto the messenger. He was happy to see that almost all the members were online today.

All except Zen.

Jumin frowned.

What a shame. Jumin wanted one of their back and fourths to cheer himself up.

But Zen had found himself a lucky break. If he was that busy with work he supposed he could wait another day to play with him.

At least he thought he could, until he began to read the conversation in the messenger.

**-Jumin Han has entered the chatroom-**

**Yoosung:** TAT

 **Yoosung:** Are you SURE there’s no trace of him? You can’t find anything.

 **707:** ya, no trace at all.

 **707:** I’m working on finding him but even looking into the movie he was talking about I can’t find any history of it at all. It’s as if all information about it got wiped clean. Even his posts about it were deleted.

 **Jaehee:** It’s been almost two months since he left, and not once in that span of time has he said anything to anyone. His manager publicly stated he’s taking a break but when I called him he said that he has no idea where Zen is.

 **Yoosung:** God… you don’t think he was kidnapped do you?

 **Jaehee:** Don’t say that…

 **Jaehee:** TnT

 **Yoosung:** Yeah, V told me to calm down… we’re gonna go out to lunch in a bit. He wants to take my mind off it.

 **Yoosung:** Seven find him!

 **707:** Kay. Workin on it.

**-Yoosung has left the chat room-**

**Jaehee:** You don’t sound very enthusiastic…

 **707:** GOD SEVEN IS ON THE CASE.

 **707:** Don’t

 **707:** Doubt

 **707:** Me.

 **707:** >w<

 **707:** Hey, cat mom is here!

 **Jaehee:** Mr. Han?

**-Jumin Han has left the chatroom-**

Jumin sat back in his chair.

Zen was missing?

He’d been missing for almost two months?

How had he not noticed? How had he gone that long without noticing that he was gone?

He knew he had been busy, but he always had time for his fellow RFA members… Was work really distracting him so much that he had failed to notice something so grave?

Then again it seemed like the others had just noticed his absence. Perhaps he was beating himself up too much. Now that everyone was aware of the situation, he was sure Seven and V would take care of it. They always found a way to turn unfavorable situations around after all.

Despite his positive attitude, the days passed without event. Seven couldn’t find anything, Yoosung was growing ever worried and Jaehee’s stress was beginning to affect her work ethic.

Jumin too was feeling the stress. Every day Zen didn’t show up was like heavy weight being piled upon him.

After a full week he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Assistant Kang, I’m taking the week off. You are to take a paid holiday as well.” Jumin announced at the end of a torturous day with no good results from either of them.

Jaehee gave Jumin a surprised look, “But Mr. Han, The Chairman is away." She bit her bottom lip, obviously wanting the time off but putting the company first as usual. "Do... you think that’s wise?"

Jumin sighed, “I can do most of my legwork remotely, and you have a team of assistants that can take over your work while you’re gone. To be honest this… issue with Zen I feel deserves both of our attention more.” He said quietly.

Jaehee smiled warmly at that. “You really care… it’s funny because you two always seem to be at each others throats, but the second he needs help you’re the first to offer a hand.” She chuckled, “Even if he slaps that hand away every time.”

Jumin returned her small smile weakly.

Jaehee cleared her throat, her stance shifting back to a more formal one as she nodded. “Anyway... understood sir. I’ll make preparations for our leave. Please have a good vacation.” She said quietly, bowing before leaving the conference room.

When Jumin got home it was late. He wasn’t expected to go to work, but he still felt stressed. Tomorrow he’d put his feelers out, see if he could pull some connections, get CCTV footage of everywhere around those mountains. He’d find Zen no matter how many of his connections he had to bend.

At least he would have, had his phone not started ringing.

**Caller: Zen.**

He never answered a phone call faster in his life.

“J-Jumin?” Zen breathed out.

Zen was alive.

Zen was safe.

Relief washed over Jumin... and then he was upset.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve calling me at this hour. It’s late and you should be calling the other RFA members.” He scolded.

“Jumin listen, I need a favor.” Zen said quietly.

“A favor? After all the time the others spent worrying over you? You should do me a favor and sign onto the messenger so everyone stops thinking you're dead.” Jumin continued, still slightly upset at Zen’s disappearing act.

“Jumin-” He tried again.

“Honestly... and right after I gave Assistant Kang a week off because she was worried, what a waste of time and manpower-”

“Please.” Zen begged, sounding desperate. “For ONCE in your life just fucking shut up and listen.” He breathed out, his breath hitching as he swallowed hard. “I need you to come here… I need you to pick me up.” He forced out shakily. “I know how upset the others must be but right now I need help… I need your help so please… help me.” He begged, his voice quivering.

Jumin felt a knot form in his gut.

Something was wrong.

Whatever was wrong, it was bad. Really bad.

“Give me your location with your phone, I’ll have my driver take me there.” Jumin said quietly, pausing when he heard muffled sobs on the other end, “I’ll… get there as fast as I possibly can.” He murmured. He heard a hitched breath and he got out of his chair, slipping on his jacket as he clicked the button to have his driver and car ready on the side of his office phone.

“N-I-I sent it... “ Zen breathed out raggedly, a sound like him slumping over heard through the muffled line.

Jumin checked the gps data and raised a brow, his steps quickening as he made his way to the elevator “You’re not far but… why the hell are you under a bridge?” He questioned, hurriedly pressing the button to the garage and punching a number into the console to override anyone getting in with him.

Zen’s breathing slowly became a bit more even, “Its… just where I ended up when I got out.” He said tiredly, sounding about ready to pass out.

Jumin slid into the backseat of his car, announcing the name of the bridge before leaning back, “Shouldn’t you go stay in a building somewhere? Like a cafe or a-”

“No.” Zen interrupted him, pleading. “I need to be picked up here, I don’t want to be seen. Besides...I can’t walk very well.” Zen admitted.

Jumin’s blood ran cold.

Just how bad was the situation Zen was in.

“I’ll be there soon… Zen?” Jumin paused, biting his bottom lip as he tried to choose his words carefully, “Are you… alright?” He asked quietly.

Zen made a small noise in his throat. It was weak and sounded embarrassed, but more than that he seemed ashamed.

“I… To be honest if I didn’t need you I wouldn’t be asking for help but…” Zen let out a bitter laugh, “It’s not like your opinion of me was ever that great in the first place, so I don’t mind telling the jerk of our group.” He said quietly, trying and failing to joke about whatever situation he was in, “But…. I’m not okay.” He added, swallowing hard and sounding like he was trying to keep from crying again, “I’m really… not okay-”

Jumin clenched his teeth when the call dropped.

“Driver, step on it. I don’t pay you to dawdle.” He barked out, the car picking up speed.

When they arrived at the bridge, he stepped out of the car, frowning as he saw the long strip of grass leading down to the river as he stood before it. He usually wouldn’t be caught dead going down such a rural slope, but he’d have to bear with it.

He made his way down, stopping when he saw a figure under the shadow of the bridge and making his way over. “Zen, is that you?” he asked cautiously.

The figure twitched, and shakily used his hands to sit up. Long pale strands of hair spilled over his shoulder and Jumin’s eyes caught against familiar deep red ones.

Jumin sighed, “There you are. C’mon the car’s waiting.” He said as he walked over, his arms crossed in a huff, “Seriously making me come… all the way… here…” His words slowed.

As Jumin’s eyes adjusted, he noticed that Zen was a mess. His clothes were tattered, torn and littered with various red and dirty stains. From where the fabric was torn open cuts and bruises were easily visible on the man’s pale skin. Trailing his eyes down further, Jumin grit his teeth to keep the slight spike of anger he felt in check.

Between his legs, on his pale white pants was a large stain that covered most of his rear and front with deep red.

“Zen...” Jumin hurried over despite his calm voice, gently tugging the man up to kneel, “What happened?”

Zen trembled in his hold, letting out a soft sigh as he glanced to the side, “I was… ambushed by someone when I was walking up to my apartment to pack for my new role…they drugged me and hid me away somewhere, I don’t know…” He said quietly. “He... bound me and…. He... I was… Forced to act out various things. When I got things wrong or when I didn’t do things the right way I was... punished..” He forced out. “He did things to me.” He said with a shaky breath, his body beginning to quake. “Oh god… he did... h-he..."

Jumin rubbed small circles into Zen’s back, letting out a gentle sigh to calm himself, “It’s alright. Take your time, Zen.” He murmured out gently.

Zen nodded, taking comfort in Jumin’s touch despite his usual feelings toward the older man. “A-Anyway… today he was in the process of moving me I think… when the rope that was binding me came loose… I managed to jump out of the back of the van when it slowed to a stop and I don’t think he noticed me... “ He said quietly. “Since the idiot left my stuff near me and my phone still had charge from the external battery I got for my trip, I called you after hiding under the bridge...”

Jumin listened quietly. He felt upset, and wanted to know the extent of the damage Zen had accrued so he could plan a proper course of action. Getting emotional would be pointless, however; and he felt like he could guess from Zen’s words and state what happened. Badgering Zen about what happened when he was in no state to talk wouldn't do either of them any good.

Still, despite telling himself that, anger bubbled in his core when he pictured what most likely transpired.

“It’s… too dangerous to take you back home if that’s the case. You’ll have to stay with someone.” He said quietly, trying to help Zen up to stand, “We should get you to a hospital for now, your wounds need to be treated-”

“No!” Zen gripped Jumin’s arm, giving him a pleading look, “Please… no one can know about this… If something like this were to come out now I’d…. I don’t need that, not with my career finally reaching a positive peak…” Zen trembled, “I also…. I don’t want anyone worrying… I don’t want to be looked at differently because of this-”

“Well what do you want to do?” Jumin said in exasperation, helping the man stand. He was used to Zen refusing his advice, but this time he wasn’t having it. “you need medical attention and i’m not taking you home-”

“A private doctor then.” Zen begged, “I’ll do anything you want… just please… No one can know about this… it would ruin me…”

Jumin grew quiet as he locked gazes with Zen. The man looked so small, so lost compared to the confident proud man that the director was used to seeing. His eyes, usually bright and playful were dull and clouded with fear. He was vulnerable and open, and Jumin didn't quite know what the proper course of action was in this situation. His eyes trailed down to the large blood stain on Zen’s pants, glancing over the fresh cuts and bruises on his arms.

It tugged at his heartstrings, and left a strange vice-like feeling in his chest he wasn’t used to.

“Alright… c’mon.” Jumin said quietly, moving to go up the hill.

The second he let Zen go, however; Zen winced and fell down to one knee.

“Fuck… that hurts…” Zen breathed out, gritting his teeth before glancing to the side in shame.”I… I’m sorry Jumin but…” Zen choked on his words, shrinking timidly as he gripped the grass, “Please… I need help… I c-can’t-” A shaky breath left him as he tried to compose himself. “I can’t stand on my own.”

Jumin stared down at him, the vice in his chest tightening.

This wasn't the Zen he knew.

There were pieces there yes, little bits of his personality that shown through but it was all jumbled and the pieces he liked the most were missing.

Someone had broken Zen. Broken him physically and emotionally and Jumin hated it.

But if Zen was damaged, Then Jumin would just have to do whatever it took to fix him. Make him Zen again.

He owed it to his fellow RFA member.

He owed it to the ones he called family for not noticing one of his own was suffering for so long.

“Here.” Jumin said quietly, lifting Zen up and shifting him so he was straddling his back. “C’mon.” He said with a sigh, carrying him up the hill.

Zen flushed. Normally he’d kick and scream from embarrassment at this, but he was in no position to do so. Instead he just wrapped his arms around Jumin’s neck, squeezing his thighs gently around the other man’s waist as he closed his eyes, "I'm sorry about this, Jumin" He said weakly.

Jumin said nothing, humming a noise of acknowledgement instead as he made his way up to his car, signalling Driver Kim to take him back to his penthouse.

Zen dozed slightly, as he rested his head on Jumin’s shoulder. The platinum blonde looked absolutely exhausted. “Thank you for taking me in, Jumin.” Zen said quietly, barely above a whisper as he snuggled against the other man.

That strange pull at his heartstrings hit Jumin once more. “Don’t worry Zen… you’re safe now.” He breathed out quietly. “So long as you are in my care no harm will come to you, I promise.”

Those words seemed to put Zen at ease, and he slowly dozed off against Jumin’s side.

Jumin Han seldom made promises, but when he did they were promises he kept.

No one was going to lay a finger on this man, and if he found the one responsible for turning Zen into a broken remnant of who he once was, there would be hell to pay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't normally write angst fics, but after getting to see 50 shades of Jumin and Zen and Unknown do the fucked up acting tango I felt inspired to write something really dark.
> 
> At the same time, because of... PLOT THINGS... I decided to give V and Yoosung a happy healthy sweet relationship where they bond over the Rika death situation rather than it tearing them apart. I figured a story with this much heavy could do with a happy fluffy side thing. Whether they're together or not can be up to your own mind since i'm leaving it ambiguous lol.


	2. These Fragile Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jumin takes Zen to the penthouse and cares for him. Things get a bit... jumbled in the middle.
> 
> Very light smut near the last third of the chapter, you've been warned lol.

When they got to Jumin’s penthouse, the problems started with a sneeze.

Elizabeth meowed, happy for Jumin’s return, bounding toward her master with her tail held high as she stared at Zen on his back curiously. 

Zen sniffled and sneezed again into Jumin’s jacket, his allergies quick to take over.

“Ah…” Jumin hummed to himself. “Yes this could be a problem.” He murmured.

Zen hid his face in the crook of Jumin’s neck, too tired to argue much. “Just… get me a room far away from that furball… my nose can’t take it.” He noted quietly.

Jumin nodded, allowing Elizabeth to weave around his legs a bit before wandering into the elevator of his penthouse and punching the number for the guest suite. 

When they arrived, Zen perked up significantly. The area was huge, complete with a living room and television as well as a fully stocked bar, a kitchen, and an open door leading to the bedroom. From his spot on Jumin’s back Zen could see the lavish king-sized bed that sat within. 

Jumin carried him to the bedroom and set him down, kneeling to take off Zen’s shoes. “I’ll have security bring you a change of clothes and have a professional look over your injuries. I must make a few calls to schedule a private medical team to check your overall health tomorrow, but you’ll be able to call if you need me using the phone by the bed.” He said quietly, setting Zen's shoes aside before standing.

Zen felt immediate anxiety. “W-Wait, people are gonna come in here?” He asked. When Jumin nodded he bit his bottom lip and gripped at the sheets, “You’re…. Not staying then…? To watch them, I mean.”

Jumin raised a brow, “Well… no I have to schedule a few things for you, besides I figured you wouldn’t want my company what with them cleaning your wounds-”

“I can do that myself!” Zen hastily said, letting out a shaky exhale to calm himself, “Just get me a first aid kit… It’s late and I don’t want to inconvenience anyone.”

Jumin frowned, “You can’t even reach all the cuts, there’s so many I can see on your back…” Jumin noted as he stared at Zen’s tattered shirt. “It’ll just be for a little while, don’t get rebellious right now-”

“Please.” Zen begged, his persona caving as he reverted to the timid man Jumin had seen under the bridge. “I don’t want to be alone with anyone strange… To be t-touched by someone I don’t know… Not now…”

Zen was scared.

He wasn’t saying it directly, and probably couldn’t because of his pride. The slight tremble in his lips and the anxiety pooling in his eyes, however; gave away how terrified he was of being alone with strangers putting their hands on him. 

Jumin felt his heart clench. This vulnerable side of Zen was something he wasn’t used to, but it did something to him. Something foreign stirred in the pit of his stomach, and suddenly the thought of anyone else laying their hands on Zen made him feel ill.

“Would… you allow me to care for you then?” Jumin said quietly, attempting to reach a compromise with the broken man in front of him. “I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to, but… your wounds need cleaning, and you can’t even stand…”

Zen swallowed, looking to Jumin like he was having a battle with his pride. After a moment he let out a sigh, slumping his shoulders. “You better not laugh at me later for needing your help.” He murmured.

Jumin frowned, “I wouldn’t joke about this… I just want to care for you.” He said softly, already bringing his hands up to unbutton Zen’s shirt.

Zen tensed, but he let Jumin undress him, wincing where the fabric had gotten stuck to his skin from his wounds. After peeling off his shirt Jumin went to remove Zen’s pants, finding a similar problem with the fabric sticking from all the dried blood. When Jumin went for his boxers, Zen gripped his wrist and frowned, “No no no… ah… I can take those off myself…” he quipped.

So Jumin retreated, watching intently as Zen shifted his boxers off and tossed them to the side. 

Zen flushed pink at being so exposed, before sending a shy frown his way, 

“Can… you not stare at me? It’s weird.” Zen murmured.

Jumin let out a sigh. “Apologies, I was just… your wounds… I think it would be best to run a bath for you first… there’s so much blood and dirt I don’t know where to start.” 

Zen shifted with a sigh, “I guess… yeah that would be good-hey!” Zen stuttered as Jumin lifted him up into this arms, taking him over to the large ornate bathroom within the suite. 

“I’ll be sure to bathe you thoroughly.” Jumin said quietly. He set Zen down on the toilet seat before opening the door to the ridiculously large stand-in shower and starting it. Once the water was at the right temperature, Jumin began to strip.

Zen let out a confused and nervous noise as he watched the clothes fall from Jumin’s body, “Well I mean I thought I was just gonna soak in the bath-” his face heated up in embarrassment as he heard the clink of Jumin’s belt buckle being undone. “Wh-What are you doing?!” He shrieked as Jumin’s pants dropped to the floor.

Jumin raised a brow. “I told you, I’m going to bathe you. Since it’s a shower room I’ll have to go in as well, and this ensemble was a gift from my father. I do not want to get my clothes soiled unnecessarily.” He said as he stood in the nude, wandering over to Zen and picking the man up.

“Y-You can’t just bathe with someone you jerk! Th-there is no way this isn’t harassment-” He hissed as the warm water hit his cuts, letting out a gentle whine as he was lowered to sit on the raised platform within the shower. 

“You’re too hurt to stand, and you’re not going to let a professional help you. If i’m going to care for you then i’m going to do it my way.” He murmured, taking the shampoo bottle and moving close to Zen.

“I can fucking wash my own hair dude!” Zen yelled incredulously, snatching the bottle from Jumin’s hands and keeping his gaze far away from the director’s body. 

Jumin frowned. “Fine. I suppose you can do that yes.” he admitted in slight defeat, crossing his arms. “Just don’t keep me waiting. I’m not the type to dawdle when bathing.”

“Yeah yeah whatever. Fuckin’ trust-fund jerk.” Zen murmured. 

Jumin felt a small well of happiness at his words.

Even if he was scarred and fragile, This was still Zen. 

Zen hesitated, giving Jumin an unsure look for a small second before shifting his gaze back to the shower wall. After a few more moments of hesitation he let out a small sigh before pulling the hair tie out of his hair, freeing the long strands. 

Jumin’s breath caught in his throat a bit. Zen was attractive, he knew that from the moment he met him. He was not embarrassed to say when he first saw Zen he felt the actor was strikingly handsome, almost uncomfortably so. With time, that attraction waned as he got to know him until he felt more complacent feelings when he saw the young actor. 

Seeing him with his long hair freed, the pale strands framing his neck and shoulders, however; was a different animal altogether. 

Zen looked elegant like this. Innocent yet tantalizing like the nymphs of myth. It brought Jumin back to the very first time he had met Zen, and that strange alien feeling of attraction washed easily back over him.

Zen flushed as he washed his hair, feeling Jumin’s eyes on him and trying not to be too shy about it. “I look different yeah…?” Zen said with a sigh. “I usually keep my hair in a ponytail since when it’s out of it I get… stares from my male co-workers.” He gave Jumin a half smile as he lathered his hair, “Guess even straight men aren’t immune to my charms when i’ve got a bit of femininity for them to see. My beauty is a curse.” He joked.

Jumin just stood quietly in the shower, watching Zen as he washed for a few more moments before moving to wash his own hair. “If you don’t like it, why don’t you cut it?” He asked curiously.

Zen paused, his eyes hooding as he let out a gentle sigh, “I...My mom tried to get me to cut it when I was younger. ‘it’s bad enough girls won’t leave you alone, now guys are looking at you too.’ She said... “ he smiled sadly. “So because I was so upset at how she wanted me to be ugly to everyone I… kept it cut in a way that I could leave it long or tie it back depending on people's tastes…” Zen tilted his head back, the water from the showerhead rinsing the suds out of his hair and leaving the long strands silken and shiny. Zen stared at Jumin with hooded eyes, “God… why am I opening up to a jerk like you…” He murmured.

Jumin held his gaze for a moment, before turning and grabbing a soft cloth, pouring antibacterial body wash on it. “I’m not against you opening up if that’s what you want, Zen.” He said quietly, turning to him and kneeling in front of him as he began gently brushing against the cuts. “I won’t judge you. Right now all I want is to help you.”

Zen flushed as he watched Jumin. If the trust fund kid didn’t look completely oblivious to how inappropriate it was to kneel in-between his legs and clean him while they were both naked he would have punched him. 

Jumin’s face seemed so focused though, and his actions were innocent. Despite his not so innocent thoughts Zen couldn’t bring himself to voice his complaints. 

And then he remembered the person making him uncomfortable was Jumin fucking Han.

“Yeah well I’m against opening up to you.” He mumbled out, gazing to the side and allowing Jumin to handle him as he was washed down, “A guy like you doesn’t really care about stuff like that… Feelings and sharing and stuff…” Zen gave the wall a dirty look since he couldn’t bring himself to look at Jumin. “If it can be solved, sustained, or earned with money, then that’s all that’s important to you.” He said through grit teeth. 

Zen had been fairly civil with Jumin thus far, but that ever nagging feeling he always got when he was around Jumin finally resurfaced and it began to fill his thoughts and feelings with venom. He knew he shouldn’t be this way when he’s the one who asked Jumin for help, and he knew he truly didn’t dislike Jumin as a person. 

But The Director was being too kind, and Zen couldn’t help but feel Jumin planned to use this opportunity against him.

“Why do you even care so much about my situation right now?” Zen spat out. “We’re not family and I hate you… I hate you so much.” He couldn’t stop the words from coming out now, it was like he was vomiting speech. “Are you going to try to strike a deal with me later once you’ve buttered me up? Try to buy into my good graces and use me after making me feel like I owe you a favor?”

Jumin stopped cleaning him for a moment, the cloth resting on Zen’s thigh as he thought over Zen’s words. “The thought never crossed my mind… but you’re not wrong about me.” He said quietly. “If it can be solved with money or some other form of bargain or trade… i’d much rather conduct myself that way than through feelings.” 

The Director could hear Zen’s teeth grind from how hard he clenched them.

Jumin remained quiet, choosing his next words carefully. “However… that’s because money is the only thing I've ever been able to trust in.” 

Zen kept his gaze trained to the wall, still upset as he let out an annoyed sigh. “What do you mean?” He asked quietly.

Jumin contemplated how to convey himself quietly as he began to clean over a cut on Zen’s hip. “For as long as I can remember, there was only one thing I was able to trust, and that was money.” He paused when he heard Zen scoff, before continuing. “As a child, I had… difficulties getting an honest answer out of people on even the most trivial things, whether it was making the right choices in life all the way down to if what I was wearing was appropriate. Everyone always told me what I wanted to hear.”

Zen kicked his feet gently, feeling them brush Jumin’s sides, “Well yeah, you're fucking loaded. I wouldn’t want to piss off my boss’ kid either.”

“That… was the problem I had. No matter how much I fought to be acknowledged or told things honestly, people would tell me things or do things that they felt would benefit them, even if it meant lying to me… So I stopped trying to get people to understand me. I stopped trying to understand people and just gave them what they wanted when it benefit me. It was easier that way.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Zen asked, his anger waning a bit.

“Because you told me about you… I feel it’s only fair you know a bit about me.” Jumin said simply. “But even so you’re right. I do put money above understanding because in my world even If I can’t trust the person I’m talking to, I can trust I’ll meet my goals by giving them something they want.”

Zen stayed quiet, but his shoulders relaxed. 

When Jumin looked up the anger in his eyes had faded, but Zen still refused to turn his way.

Jumin took that as a sign to continue, and he squeezed the other man’s knee fondly. “Then I met you. Rika and V liked you, and wanted to help you… but you didn’t want my help.” Jumin said warmly, cleaning the cuts along his leg as he continued, “You wanted sincerity, not money or my connections, and you were transparent of your distaste of me right from the start.”

Zen flushed at the slight warmth in Jumin’s tone, spreading his legs more as he felt The Director's hands rove across his inner thighs. “W-Why do you sound happy about that?” He stuttered out, suddenly feeling a little shy.

Jumin gently lifted Zen’s other leg to clean the underside of his thigh, “Because not once… never in the years that i’ve known you have you ever said something just to appease me. Even V and Rika have occasionally said and done things for me out of pity for my lifestyle… but not you.” Jumin stopped cleaning him for a moment to look up at Zen’s face, “Even if you hate me for who I am… I trust you completely for that. Even if you hate me I will never abandon you so long as you are a part of the RFA… So long as you’re part of my life. That is how I will show my gratitude for your sincerity to me.”

Zen finally turned to Jumin, his eyes wide as he processed the small confession. “I… I-” He stuttered out, his heart suddenly hammering in his chest, “I had no idea… you felt that way… ah-”

Zen had been trying to find a way to express how he felt about Jumin’s little confession. 

Then he realized sometime during Jumin’s little story he had grown hard, his erection curled up and at attention only a little ways away from Jumin’s face.

 

“I-I- Ah- UM.” Zen stuttered.

 

Jumin looked at him quizzically for a moment, before noticing Zen’s eyes shifting down. “Ah, that. Yes don’t worry i’m not embarrassed.” He said quietly as he continued to clean him. “I figured there would be some physiological responses seeing as i’m cleaning around a very sensitive area. I’m not disgusted.” He said plainly.

Zen’s breathing became slightly erratic, unable to ignore it now that he had seen it. 

After a while Jumin stood up, letting out a soft sigh. “Alright turn. I have to get your back… among other places.” He murmured.

Zen stared in-between Jumin’s legs. Oh god Jumin was hard too.

He wanted to die from how uncomfortable this situation had just become.

Still, Zen swallowed and nodded, shifting around onto his hands and knees and letting out a soft sigh as he felt Jumin wash over him. “I… W-What I wanted to say was… M-Maybe I had you all wrong.” He said quietly.

Jumin raised a brow at that, continuing to disinfect and clean the wounds gently, “I’m not sure what you mean, you were right more or less.”

Zen shook his head, “N-No I meant… I was so angry because I thought you wanted to take advantage of me… I thought you were only offering money and connections because you pitied me and didn’t think very highly of me.” Zen let out a shaky breath as he felt Jumin’s hands begin to shift toward his rear. “But… you’re really nice. Despite not knowing me you tried to help me in the only way you knew how… and you continued to do so even when I lashed out at you… E-Even now, you’re being so considerate just because you want to be…” Zen looked back at Jumin shyly, “What… I want to say I guess… is thanks for putting up with my bullshit, Jumin.”

Jumin felt something warm bubble in his chest at his words, nodding in acknowledgement as his lips quirked upward for a fraction of a second. 

The two fell into silence after that, Jumin cleaning his cuts and wounds as best as he could from head to toe, until he got to the last place that needed to be cleaned. He looked up at Zen, and gently graced a hand over his rear before parting his cheeks lightly, “Zen… may I?” He asked quietly. 

Zen let out a shaky breath, his body slumping forward slightly as he gazed shyly back at Jumin, “G-Go ahead… I… I trust you and stuff.” He stammered out. “J-Just… don’t…” He let out a shaky sigh, “Don’t… pity me please.” He breathed out.

Jumin knew why. He could tell just by the bruise marks on his hips and the state of his entrance that he had been through something no human being should go through. 

“The only thing I feel… is anger that this happened... “ Jumin said quietly, before cleaning gently around the space. As he cleaned him, he noticed the fluid running down was red and viscous, but some of it was thicker. Some of it had a texture that Jumin knew very well.

Jumin grit his teeth to keep his anger in check, finishing his task as meticulously as possible to make sure no trace of what horrors transpired while Zen was captive remained inside him.

Zen flushed, letting out a soft moan from Jumin’s touches. He felt humiliated when Jumin stopped and let he out a shaky sigh, “N-I’m sorry I uh… ugh… you don’t have to… do that if you don’t want to, I know that it’s probably gross…”

Jumin gazed at Zen for a moment, before shrugging, “No… it’s not gross… You’re being sexually stimulated. It’s only natural to have responses.” He reassured Zen, before continuing his ministrations. 

Zen let out a nervous laugh, “Ever the robotic response…” He said quietly. After a bit of time though he relaxed once more, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of Jumin massaging his insides. They hurt terribly, but having a gentle touch inside him for once was soothing despite the pain. It felt good, and he felt safe in Jumin’s hands.

Wait.

Zen flushed at that thought. He felt safe with Jumin? He felt GOOD with Jumin? The hell had gotten into him. Not ten minutes ago he was harping about how much he hated the trust fund jerk. 

He reasoned out it was just the stress piling up. 

Still, he was reaching really deep, it was starting to feel really…

“Ah~” Zen keened out, arching slightly as his cock twitched against his stomach. 

Jumin raised a brow at him, before curiously rubbing against that spot again, watching as Zen trembled and began to pant. He glanced down in-between Zen’s legs, seeing the swollen red tip of Zen’s shaft twitch hard, begging to be touched.

“Should I stop?” Jumin asked. On the outside he was his usual calm stoic self. Inside, it took everything he had not to touch without permission, but he managed.

Zen shook his head, too prideful to tell Jumin he wanted him to continue but too in need of release to tell him he could take care of it himself. 

So Jumin continued pumping his fingers in and out of Zen, thoroughly cleaning him as he felt the man began to rock back. He purposefully began brushing over that sweet spot. Despite the innocence of his initial intentions, Jumin couldn’t help but find the whole situation strange. Not because he was currently finger-fucking a man who said he hated him ten minutes ago, but how all of this was making him feel.

There was a deep seated need inside Jumin currently, a need to satisfy Zen’s every wish. He wanted Zen to want for nothing, even if the platinum blonde was too ashamed to ask for his help.

Knowing he could satisfy Zen’s every need right now made him feel… good.

It only took a few moments, and Zen came, his essence splattering onto the tile wall as he slouched.

Taking that as his queue to stop, he pulled his fingers out, running them under the water a bit to clean them before turning the tap off. “Alright.” Jumin murmured, grabing a large fluffy towel and wrapping Zen up as he dried him. 

 

Zen panted slightly, still blissed out from the whole ordeal as he looked up at Jumin with hooded eyes. “Mm… Jumin….” He breathed out, his voice husky as his eyes trailed down Jumin’s body, landing at the erection that still sat in-between Jumin’s legs. “You’re not gonna do something about that?” He asked quietly.

Jumin let out a small exasperated sigh, before stepping out of the shower for a moment. “I’ll deal with it later, perhaps running myself under the cold water for a few moments after I put you to bed.” He said quietly.

“Put me to bed? You make it sound like i’m a pet.” Zen pouted. He watched Jumin dry himself off, his eyes never leaving the erect shaft bobbing against The Director’s stomach as he moved.

Jumin noticed him staring and turned to look at Zen. "What is it? Do you need something?" 

Zen flushed and gazed to the side in embarrassment, his pride screaming at him at what he was about to suggest. “Y’know… It’s not good to leave it like that. I could… As thanks for helping me and everything I could-”

“No.” Jumin interrupted him. When he saw the slight discouragement in Zen’s eyes, he added, “You’ve been through enough. I don’t want you to pay me back, or feel any obligations toward me.” He said quietly, pulling a bathrobe out of a small closet and helping Zen into it before scooping him up. “All I want right now is for you to feel safe here, and focus on getting back on your feet.” 

Zen felt something warm bubble in his chest as he was carried. Jumin’s intentions were so honest, and he was being so sincere. This was the same jerk, same stoic face, same manner of speaking as he always had, but he was honest. He genuinely wanted to care for Zen from the bottom of his heart unconditionally, and was willing to do what it took to help him.

Seeing such altruism from the man holding him caused Zen's heart to soar.

It was like he was seeing Jumin for the first time. 

Jumin settled Zen down on the bed and moved to go back to the bathroom. “I’ll only be a moment. Just let me take care of myself and get dressed and-”

He didn’t finish that sentence, as Zen tugged him forward and suddenly there was a very warm, very hot mouth on his cock.

Jumin tensed, letting out a soft groan of surprise as he fought to not buck his hips up. He shakily took Zen’s shoulders and used all his remaining willpower to pull Zen away. “Zen…” He warned, “I told you you didn’t owe me anything-”

“Shut up I know that.” Zen said defiantly, glancing to the side. “I won’t do it again if you really don’t like it but… i-if you don’t mind…” He stammered, “I-If you don’t mind then just… let me do this for you… I’m not doing it because I owe you, or because of some deep seated trauma crap, I’m doing it because I want to.”

Jumin felt conflicted, watching Zen fidget on the bed. He felt this wasn’t appropriate. Zen had just gotten back from a horrible experience. One he was no doubt still vulnerable from. To take advantage of him would be wrong. Still… he felt like if he pushed Zen away here, it would do more harm. The man’s self confidence was a hair's breadth away from shattering, and it looked like he had mustered up all his courage to voice his want to help him with his small problem. 

He didn’t want to take advantage of him.

He didn’t want to push him away and ruin the little bond that was slowly nurturing between them.

He didn’t know what was right or wrong in this situation, either way had its own scruples he struggled with.

So he washed his hands of it.

“Do… what you want to do, Zen.” He said with a small sigh. 

Zen’s eyes lit up like a kid at christmas, and Jumin felt a strange fuzzy feeling well up inside. It was foreign, but not unpleasant.

Zen gently grabbed Jumin’s hips, tugging him over so the director was kneeling on the bed. Zen maneuvered him around and pushed him gently to lean against the headboard. “Just… stay like that.” He said quietly. Zen shifted down to lay on his stomach, resting his chin on Jumin’s thigh. 

Jumin watched him. 

Watched as Zen tucked a long stray strand of hair behind his ear. Watched as he nuzzled the erect shaft before him and began to kiss and nip along the sides before suckling slightly on the tip. That strange warm feeling stirred inside Jumin again, and his hips jerked slightly as Zen’s lips brushed against his slit.

Zen knew what he was doing, and it didn’t take much for Jumin to guess how he had gotten so good at this.

Jumin clenched his teeth, he shouldn’t think about that now.

Zen was doing this for him.

Zen was giving him something special and he shouldn’t tarnish it.

Finally, Zen took him in, lathing his tongue across the whole shaft and taking him deep. He took Jumin’s labored breathing as encouragement, and swallowed lightly around his shaft.

Jumin gripped the sheets, restraining himself from bucking into Zen’s mouth. He watched as Zen touched over his shaft with each bob of his head, caressing him in an almost worshiping manner. It made his heart flutter in a strange way he didn’t understand. The only thing he understood now was Zen prostrated in front of him, hair down and cascading over his naked frame. He only understood his thoughts on Zen as he was right at this moment. 

That Zen was the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen.

Zen stopped, gazing up at him with wide innocent eyes.

That look was too much, and he spilled heavily into Zen’s mouth with a groan.

Zen choked slightly, tearing up as he swallowed as much as he could, a bit running down his chin as he hiccuped. “Nh… that was… fast.” He said quietly as he caught his breath.

Jumin leaned back, his eyes hooded as he watched Zen intently. He couldn’t take his eyes off the man for a second, even with his post sexual high lulling him. He reached out and swept his thumb over Zen’s chin, cleaning his essence from him before lazily grabbing a tissue from the nightstand and cleaning his fingers.

Zen flushed and fidgeted on the bed, “You… called me beautiful…” He said quietly.

Jumin raised a brow weakly. Had he really said that thought out loud? Obviously yes but it still surprised him. “Sorry if it made you uncomfortable.” He said quietly.

“Oh n-no no it’s just… I…” He fidgeted a bit. “Nevermind… thank you Jumin… you’re sweet.” He said softly…

“Sweet…” Jumin contemplated Zen’s words, continuing to stare at the gorgeous man before him. His platinum blonde hair was slightly mussed, still damp and sticking to his face. The light from the window was illuminating his pale form, and his red eyes were so deep, so striking Jumin felt he was falling into them... drowning in them. 

That nagging feeling stirred again in Jumin. The same one he had been feeling since he found him under the bridge.

No, it wasn’t a feeling… more like a need.

A need to protect.

A need to keep him safe.

Then, Jumin realized this feeling was protectiveness… perhaps something even deeper.

Jumin felt a headache coming on as he tried to understand it.

Zen on the other hand was beginning to feel shy.

“J-Jumin?” Zen spoke up, flushing at the intense stare Jumin was giving him. “Are you alright man? You seem… pretty out of it…”

Jumin snapped out of his thoughts and let out a sigh, “I suppose i’m just tired.” He said quietly, not letting on to the small inner conflict in his mind. “You should retire to bed. Just type the numbers 0-5-4 in the phone and it will ring for my room. I’ll come for you if you need me.” He said softly, moving to get off the bed.

“No.” Zen reacted before he could think, reaching out and stopping Jumin from getting up. He held him by the shoulders and gave him a pleading look. “Stay… please? At least until I fall asleep.” It was a selfish request, and he knew it was childish, but he didn’t want to be alone. 

He was worried he’d remember. 

He didn’t want to remember.

Jumin held his gaze for a few moments, and he felt that unpleasantly tight hurt in his chest. He closed his eyes and composed himself before nodding. “If that is what you wish.” He conceded.

Zen smiled warmly, hugging Jumin fondly at his acceptance. “Thank you, Jumin… I… really… thank you so much… 

Jumin felt that unpleasant feeling blossom into warmth, and he hesitantly returned the hug. They lay in bed after that, Jumin watching as Zen slowly dozed off against his chest.

When Jumin was sure Zen was asleep, he brought his hand up and tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear. He watched the soft rise and fall of Zen’s chest and the peaceful countenance that surrounded him. He took all of Zen in, mapping and memorizing every inch of him he could see.

The more Jumin watched him the more at peace he felt.

Starting tomorrow he’d get Zen a proper check up to make sure there wasn’t anything he needed to worry about with him health-wise. He’d have Seven look into the mysterious man who abducted Zen.

Until Jumin was sure Zen was safe, he wouldn’t kick the man out. He was sure Zen would feel best staying here with him after the nights events.

Warmth fluttered into Jumin’s chest at the thought of Zen staying longer.

Then perhaps… he’d have Zen start on some allergy medication so he wasn’t miserable around Elizabeth 3rd, so he could wander the rest of the penthouse. 

Perhaps he’d get Zen a change of clothes as well. He couldn’t just walk around naked. He could have security go get something from the man’s apartment.

No… maybe he could get something for him. Something a bit more done up. A three piece white and grey suit would look absolutely stunning on him. Yes, that would do instead.

Maybe he’d get him a hairpiece as well… something that would look wonderful in Zen’s hair when it was down… 

Yes… Zen would look wonderful if he left his hair down more…

He wasn’t going to be leaving anytime soon, so perhaps he would try to convince Zen to leave it down when they were alone. 

Only when they were alone though, since he said men had the tendency to be distracted by his looks with it down, and his entire security detail was male.

Yes… if others looked at him like that it would be… a problem.

Perhaps he’d have them vacate to just watching the penthouse from the outside.

He felt that would be appropriate. He didn’t want Zen to be uncomfortable. 

Zen would be uncomfortable if others looked… if others wanted to touch...

Jumin couldn't stand the thought.

He would make sure Zen was comfortable and felt safe no matter what he had to do.

Jumin smiled. So many plans, but for now, he should rest.

So he settled better into bed, draping an arm lazily over Zen and enjoying the way the other male cuddled up to him. He closed his eyes and let out a soft exhale, the tendrils of sleep quickly taking his mind.

Yes, he could enjoy planning Zen’s day out more in the morning. They had plenty of time to spend together after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohoho, Jumin is already feeling the Yandere bug.
> 
> Seeing as it only took him what... Seven dang days from meeting the MC to fall hard for her and shift into crazy mode, I feel this is a good pace for Jumin since he's known Zen for years.
> 
> Also yes the little speech Jumin spoke was inspired by the one he gives Zen in Zen's route. How they became close in his route was too cute~


	3. Glint in the Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jumin gets a few unexpected visitors.

_“Now my prince… look at me and smile…”_

_No…_

_“Show me your love… save me like the valiant prince you want to be. Act for me… Show me your love for acting!.”_

_God… please stop…_

_“Oh? Still resisting? Shhh… it’s okay… just take your medicine… you’ll feel good afterward I promise…”_

_No… I don’t want this…._

_“Stop, stop! Hmph… your eyes are still lying… you’re not ready to be the valiant prince who saves the princess.”_

_I don’t want to be a prince… Right now I don’t want to save anyone…_

_“Looks like… we’ll have to punish you… ahh… perhaps you’ll understand how important it is if you feel the pain the princess feels… being at the absolute mercy of the villain that’s captured her…”_

_No… I don’t want it…_

_“Time to play the victim for a bit… It’s okay to scream… no one will hear you... and when you understand her pain you can save her…”_

_Save me… please…_

_“Zen…”_

_Please someone save me!_

“ZEN!”

Zen’s eyes snapped open, a cry leaving his lips as he struggled against hands that were holding him.

“No please- Please I don’t want to act anymore!” He screamed, thrashing back only to be held tighter. “I don’t want to save anyone, I want someone to save me- please- Someone save me!”

“ZEN. ITS ME.”

Zen’s wild eyes focused a bit, his erratic breathing slowing a fraction as he stilled in Jumin’s arms. “Ju… min…?” He breathed out, shaking as he stared at the man like he wasn’t real. “Jumin…?”

Jumin pursed his lips, searching Zen’s eyes as he thought about his words carefully. “Zen…” He hesitated as he brought one of his hands up to Zen’s cheek. “Zen it’s okay… I’m here… You’re safe here remember?” He said softly, barely above a whisper. “I promised to keep you safe… remember?”

Zen stared at Jumin with wide eyes. He was safe?

Yes… he was safe…

Jumin was safe.

He didn’t have to save anyone anymore.

Jumin had saved him… He promised…

Zen felt a wetness drip onto his hand, and he quickly realized he was crying, the tears falling in thick rivulets down his face. He let out a shaky sob and he put his head in his hands as he broke down. “I’m… safe…” He sobbed out, his breath erratic as he let out loud uncontrollable cries.

Jumin’s heart ached.

He watched the emotions that passed over Zen’s face and it hurt him. Fear, sadness, despair, anguish, shame, it was all so much.

He wanted to take that pain away.

Jumin brought his hands up and pulled Zen onto his lap, cradling him close and allowing for the sobbing man to cry against his shoulder. “It’s okay Zen… it’s okay…” he said gently, kissing his temple and forehead as he stroked down his back.

Zen returned the hug, tossing his arms around Jumin and sliding his legs around his waist. He nuzzled at Jumin’s neck, taking comfort in his warmth, his scent.

Jumin was real. He was here and holding him and caring for him and those feelings were real.

The two stayed like that for a long time, Zen’s sobs slowly changing to small hiccups as he calmed down.

When Zen finally regained his composure, he took a glance at the clock on the nightstand. 5:20 AM. They had barely been asleep for three hours.

“Sorry if I woke you…” Zen mumbled to himself quietly, feeling guilty as he relaxed with him. “Do you have work today?”

Jumin shook his head, stroking down Zen’s back and running his fingers through the long strands of Zen’s hair. “I wasn’t asleep. I woke up twenty minutes ago and was making a few appointments. As for work… I took the week off with Assistant Kang, actually.” He said quietly. “I was going to use that time to talk with the other members and find you.”

Jumin took time off work to try and find him?

Zen’s heart fluttered at that.

“So… does that mean you can stay here?” Zen asked hopefully.

Jumin nodded, kissing his temple. “I’ll get you whatever you need to stay comfortable. You don’t have to worry so long as you’re here, Zen.”

Zen nodded against Jumin’s neck and he let out a shaky sigh. He felt warmth spread throughout his body at their contact.

Jumin was so warm… he was so different on the inside from what Zen had initially thought. Jumin met him where he was, and hadn’t pushed him at all. He had been so patient with Zen, and shown him a side he never thought he would ever see.

The whole thing felt like a dream to him.

“Hey…Jumin...” Zen murmured slightly, pulling back as he gazed into Jumin’s eyes. “Can I kiss you?”

For a split second Jumin’s brain stopped working.

Zen wanted to kiss him? Why?

“If…” Jumin kept his tone even, staring at him cautiously “If you’re trying to appease me the … special favor you did for me last night was more than enough-”

“Sh-Shut up please!” Zen yelled out incredulously. “God… weren’t you the guy who was telling me over and over that you liked who I was because I was always honest and crap?” Zen flushed bright pink as he remembered Jumin’s face as he came, remembered the entranced way Jumin had looked at him. “I’m asking if I can because I want to you jerk…”

“Because you want to…” Jumin murmured out slightly. He stared at Zen’s flushed face, the shy countenance in his eyes.

It warmed him so to see Zen look so innocent when speaking so honestly.

“If that is what you wish.” Jumin murmured out, relaxing back expectantly as he eyed Zen.

Zen squirmed slightly, his heart hammering in his chest as he let out a soft sigh and leaned forward. He paused for a moment, staring up at Jumin and losing himself in his eyes.

God why was this so hard?

Zen couldn’t understand why it was so difficult. Jumin had pretty much finger fucked him last night and he had blown Jumin like a damn pro. Why the hell was he tripping up over a kiss?.

But he wanted to kiss him. Maybe because of how intimate they were last night.

He wanted something innocently intimate, to make him feel like Jumin wasn’t going to go.

“Close your eyes…” Zen said quietly.

Jumin quirked a brow, before doing as he was told, his eyes sliding shut as he let out a soft sigh.

Zen smiled at the peaceful look Jumin had on his face, that warmth filling him up once more.

“Yeah… just like that.” Zen murmured, before leaning in and pressing his lips against Jumin’s in a chaste kiss.

Electricity shot between the both of them, and Jumin let out a soft exhale through his nose as he pressed into the kiss. Zen in turn held him tight, taking the lead and deepening the kiss as he lazily lathed his tongue over Jumin’s lips, coaxing him to return it. Jumin did, eagerly.

The kiss became more heated, and Zen moaned slightly as he ran his tongue over Jumin’s, feeling it entwine with his as their bodies pressed together.

God this was better than he ever had it.

Zen wanted to stay like this forever.

At least he would have, had there not been a sudden knock on the door.

“Jumin, it’s V! Can I come in?”

Zen shot off Jumin like he had been burned.

V was here?

V was right outside the fucking door?

“Fuck fuck fuck” Zen whispered. There was no way he could face V, not like this.

He didn’t want to see the others

He wasn’t fucking ready.

“I don’t want to see him.” Zen said shakily.

Jumin regarded Zen for a moment, gently draping the sheets over Zen and stroking his cheek. “If you don’t want to see V then I’ll talk to him outside.” He said quietly.

Zen nodded with a thankful smile before wincing as the doorknob began to turn.

“If you want to see me naked, you can go ahead and open the door. Otherwise I would appreciate it if you’d let me dress.” Jumin called out.

V sighed behind the door, a thump heard like he had pressed his forehead to it. “Alright but don’t keep me waiting. Yoosung, Seven and Jaehee are downstairs.”

Jumin raised a brow.

The whole RFA was here?

He glanced back at Zen, who shrunk even more at the news.

If Zen didn’t want to see them then he wouldn’t let them in.

He dressed as quickly as he could in a pinstripe shirt and some pants, before opening the door and sliding out before clicking it shut behind him. “Yes?”

V raised a brow, eyeing the door suspiciously before shrugging. “Come downstairs. We’ll talk there.”

Jumin nodded, following V through the and hall and making his way to the recreation room, seeing the other members sitting on the sofas. He let out a small sigh. “You could’ve called y’know.”

V frowned, “So could you. Though I guess telling the rest of us you found Zen wasn’t your priority.”

They knew? How?

Oh. Right.

Jumin shot Seven a dirty look.

Seven laughed nervously, “Eheh, sorry. I may or may not have tapped into the governments phone call database to look for calls related to Zen… and I may or may not have found the conversation you had with him last night.”

Jumin frowned.

“AAAAAAAND….” Seven gave him a sheepish look, “I may or may not have taken a peek at your CCTV cameras and saw you carrying Zen inside this penthouse here.”

Jumin crossed his arms. “Apologies, it was late and I was going to tell you in the morning.”

Jaehee sighed, “So he’s alright then, that’s good.” She said in relief.

Yoosung pouted, “Can we see him? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if we woke him up.”

Jumin stared at them all for a brief moment before sighing. “Zen… told me he doesn’t want to see anyone until he’s gathered his thoughts. I have chosen to respect his wishes. As this is my home so long as he feels that way I see no reason to pressure him.

The rest of the RFA shared worried looks.

“Did something happen to him?” Jaehee asked worriedly.

“I can’t answer that.” Jumin said.

“Are you hiding it because it was bad?” Yoosung asked worriedly.

“No, I’m simply not sharing information with you Zen doesn’t want shared, that is all.”

“Seven showed me the tapes.” V said quietly. “And I heard the conversation… I have a pretty good guess of what happened.”

Jumin clenched his jaw slightly, not giving an external reaction. “Even so, Zen wishes to collect himself on his own, and I will respect his wishes.”

Jaehee and Yoosung looked downtrodden, and Seven gave a slightly skeptical look before pouting.

V glanced at the other RFA members before turning to Jumin. “Can we talk? In private?”

Jumin stared at V.

He was giving him a look.

He had seen that look many times as children.

He was about to be scolded.

Jumin sighed. “If it would appease you then I suppose.” he mumbled out, walking after V as they made their way to the elevator, going to the kitchen on the second floor.

V walked over to the coffee pot and began to brew himself some, “Would you like something to drink? Coffee? Juice?”

“We’re in my house, I should be asking you that.” Jumin joked, before leaning against the wall, “No thank you, I’m fine.”

V chuckled, opening one of the fridges and pulling out some creamer and then opening another cabinet to grab a large tub of sugar. “I wanted to talk to you about what I saw.” V said as he fixed his drink.

Jumin sighed. “I brought him inside yes, he’s here. I’ve confirmed this… your point?”

V paused, looking like he was contemplating something before taking a sip of his coffee. “When Seven said he saw the CCTV camera footage… I think for your sake he failed to mention he tapped into all the ones you had in your house… You have one in the guest bedroom you put Zen in.”

Jumin stared at him, “...and?”

V paused, clearing his throat before glancing to the side, a flush of embarrassment creeping over his face. “Well… Let’s just say Seven and I weren’t expecting things to get R rated.”

oh.

Jumin grimaced.

“I think I’ll have a drink after all.” Jumin said with a sigh. He walked down to a wine rack in the corner and pulled a bottle of Pinot Noir off it, quickly pouring himself a glass.

V sighed as he watched Jumin take a large swig. “I mean… you’re adults so it’s not my business… and how I found out was through an invasion of privacy but…” V pursed his lips, “I hope… you’ll keep Zen’s best interests in mind.

Jumin shot V a dirty look, “I tried to talk him out of it but he insisted… so much so I felt more harm would come from not letting him do what he wishedt.” Jumin sighed as he swirled his glass, “Plus you know my… thoughts on Zen. He is precious to me. I wouldn’t take advantage of him and then toss him away.”

V smiled at that. “I know you wouldn’t, you’re not like that.” V laughed as he took another sip of his coffee. “If I told Zen just how much you dote on him when he’s not doing alright he would probably think i’m lying through my teeth.”

Jumin sighed, “So long as you and I are on the same page. I do not wish for you to think I have ulterior motives with him.”

V gained a far off look. “I just… i think you need to take a less hands on approach with him.” He said as he walked over. “Right now… what do you want for Zen?”

Jumin pondered that.

What did he want most for Zen?

What did he think was best?

“I… Want him to be safe. I want him to feel safe so he can be Zen again.” Jumin said with a sigh. “He’s still Zen, but the parts of him that I like most… The main parts are fragmented… they’re fragile because of what happened.” Jumin bit his bottom lip. “All that pain… I want to take it away. I want to help him get through it and be the person he was before.”

Yes. Zen was important to him.

He would do anything for him.

He made that promise long ago, to always offer a hand out to Zen whenever he needed him even if he was refused.

Because Zen was special. He was honest and true to himself and no amount of money or sway could change how real he was.

He would do everything in his power to protect and aid him. Whatever it took.

V smiled at that. “I’m proud of you, Jumin.” He said with a laugh. “Usually you’re so controlling, but you look like you want what’s best for him this time.” He put a hand on Jumin’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze, “I’ll leave him in your hands, and I’ll tell the others everything will be fine.” he said with a smile.

Jumin nodded, “I plan to have him checked out to make sure he’s in good health.”

V nodded. “Also I know it’ll be hard for him but…” He pulled out a calling card, “This is a number to a psychiatrist who… worked with Rika.” He said with a sigh, “She’s very good at what she does and I think it would be best if he got checked out there as well.”

Jumin took the card, memorizing the information before putting it in his trouser pocket. “I’ll put that on the list of things to do today.”

V pursed his lips, “Also… Jumin… I know you care about Zen a lot, but… perhaps keep sex out of the mix yeah?” V said quietly.

Jumin grew quiet at that, “I don’t… I told you I never planned to take advantage of him.”

V sighed, “I know you wouldn’t force him to do anything, but sex isn’t what he needs right now. He needs a friend. Someone to support him.” V said quietly. “Sex complicates things… Even if you don’t think it would, if you want what’s best for him you should keep that in mind.”

Jumin felt a strange stir in his gut.

Sex complicates things… He supposed logically that made sense.

He wasn’t planning on instigating anything sexual with Zen if he didn’t want it either way, but still… how unfortunate.

“I understand… I’ll keep things platonic until I have a better grasp of what Zen needs.” He said with a nod. “I’ll make arrangements for the psychiatrist as well.”

V’s smile widened, “Jumin Han, you never cease to make me proud.” He said with a chuckle. “Alright, I’ll see everyone out. You do what you gotta do.” He said with a wave, leaving the Jumin alone in the kitchen with his thoughts.

He would get Zen to the doctor. He would get him to the psychiatrist like V said.

If it would help him then he would do whatever it took to make him happy.

With that in mind, he went back up to the guest room, opening the door.

He was met with a tight hug.

“Did everything go okay?” Zen asked quietly.

Jumin’s eyes widened as Zen held him close, “Yes… V has given me the okay to care for you, so you will be with me for as long as you need…” Jumin said quietly. He hesitated, before returning the hug, leaning against the door. “Zen… you’re okay to walk?”

Zen nodded, “it still hurts but… it’s not as bad as yesterday.” He breathed out. “God… you were only gone for a bit but I missed you…” He breathed out.

Jumin’s eyes hooded as he took Zen in.

He had been crying again.

It broke his heart.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to leave you waiting like that…” He said quietly, swaying slightly in the hug. “I’m here now, and I will be with you for as long as you need.”

Zen sniffled and nodded, letting out a soft exhale as he closed his eyes, “Good… that makes me feel a lot better, thank you.” He said quietly, looking up at Jumin shyly, “Really… thank you.”

Jumin’s heart fluttered.

He smiled and ran his fingers through Zen’s hair. “We need to get you ready for a few appointments, I’m going to take you to a private clinic and also to a psychiatrist for a mental checkup. I promise I won’t leave your side if that’s what you want.” He said quietly.”I’ll bring you some clothes, and I’ll have driver Kim wait for us in the garage so we can go-”

“Go?” Zen interrupted, barely above a whisper, his grip became vice-like and Jumin could feel Zen’s heart begin to beat hard against his chest.

“Yes… we have to go… it’s important that we get these things done-”

“Can… can they come here?” Zen asked quietly. “Like… to the penthouse? Do we really have to go?”

Jumin pursed his lips. “It would be… more beneficial to go to them.”

Jumin’s heart clenched at the dread that flooded Zen’s eyes.

Zen was hurting again.

Jumin didn’t want to hurt him.

He couldn’t stand that his words hurt him.

“But I suppose…” Jumin said quietly “If it would be better for you, I can have them come to the penthouse. I’ll make accommodations.”

Relief flooded Zen’s features, and he let out a long sigh before smiling. “Thank you Jumin… thank you so much.” He said quietly, holding him tight. “I’m sorry i’m being difficult but please… I just need time.”

Jumin stayed in the embrace, running his hands up and down Zen’s back soothingly. “Take all the time you need. Please remember you’re safe with me… remember nothing bad will happen to you so long as you’re here.” He reassured Zen, “I want you to heal at your own pace so please don’t think you’re being difficult”

Zen flushed warmly at Jumin’s words.

God how had he not seen how good Jumin was?

It hadn’t even been a day and he had seen just how deeply the man cared for him, how far he was willing to go for him.

Yes… Jumin had saved him…

He didn’t have to be the prince that saved anyone anymore…

He had a prince of his very own… A savior of his very own...

Zen leaned close, his eyes unfocused and glazed over with need, “Jumin…” he purred out, voice dripping with playfulness. “can I kiss you again?”

Jumin’s heart skipped a beat.

This was very different for Zen. Those eyes were something he’d never seen in all his years of knowing him.

It was new… It was interesting.

Jumin leaned close, lacing his hands together behind Zen’s back “If you want to.” He said quietly.

Zen smiled, “I _do_.” he breathed out, before pulling the director into a deep kiss.

They stayed like that in the doorway for a while, all exploring tongues and grazing teeth and nibbling lips. Zen parted for a minute to take a breath before crashing their mouths together again.

Jumin returned the kiss eagerly, letting out an exhale through his nose as he kept Zen close.

This was fine.

Sex would complicate things but this wasn’t crossing the line.

This was just a kiss… they were only kisses.

He would keep sex out of things until Zen was ready.

He would give Zen everything he needed until he was happy.

He would fix him.

Then when he was perfect again, when those flaws of fear and doubt were gone they could have more.

Then... they could cross that line together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Zen... he just wants to stay in his big castle with his wonderful prince and wants everyone else to piss off. This shall cause problems.
> 
> In this fic V doesn't uh... need his glasses if that clears things up. I'd also like to think he knows how Jumin keeps his house inside and out since they're good friends lol.


	4. Jagged Edges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zen and Jumin are told that there needs to be a healthy amount of distance between them.
> 
> Neither of them are taking it well.

Jumin sighed as he stared at the results of the medical examination. Zen was more or less in good health. His wounds weren’t infected, he wasn’t malnourished, and no STD’s thank god. His external injuries would be better in time, and the doctors even said they were surprised at how well his wounds were healing.

At least the physical side of Zen was fine. He texted V the results to which he replied back positively. Yoosung texted him shortly afterward saying V and him wanted to throw a party whenever Zen was finally ready to come back to them.

It warmed his heart a bit, but at the same time he felt slightly apprehensive.

Yoosung talked as if Zen would be able to leave soon. He never implied to any of the RFA members that would be the case. It bothered him that he was assuming.

Still he shouldn’t fret over it.

That left Jumin with the other appointment, which wasn’t going as well as he’d liked.

Jumin was sitting in the recreation room of his penthouse, petting Elizabeth to cope with the stress. The psychiatrist asked to have a one on one session with Zen, and the two had been gone for some time. Zen looked upset being separated from him, but V said he might not like it.

Jumin tried to reassure himself. V said that it would be for his own good. He trusted V, so he would persevere… but he still felt terrible. Was this really the right thing to do if it brought Zen such pain?

He was tired of thinking about it.

As if to save him from his inner turmoil, He received a call from Jaehee.

“Jumin Han speaking.” He said with a sigh, happy to have a distraction.

“Mr. Han… thank goodness you answered.” She said with an annoyed sigh.

Jumin raised a brow at her tone. “Yes? What is it?”

“Well sir um… Miss Sarah and Glam Choi showed up to my house today… they asked me about the people in your life, if there were other women… things like that.” She cleared her throat, obviously peeved. “I said you only had your cat… When I mentioned that they seemed… off.” She said quietly.

Jumin frowned, he didn’t really like those women. “Off in what way?”

“I don’t mean to sound presumptuous, but… Miss Choi seemed strange. Like she was planning something… Elizabeth is still with you yes?”

Jumin glanced down at the feline in his arms. “Yes… she’s here.”

Jaehee sighed. “Good… just be careful… usually I wouldn’t have said anything but… those two women were hanging around the penthouse earlier when I left with V, I worry they’re up to no good.”

Jumin felt an uneasy feeling stir in the pit of his stomach. Normally it wouldn’t bother him, but because Glam was his father's fiancee he couldn’t trust that his bodyguards would keep her out if she flaunted that power. He also couldn’t be with Elizabeth at all times because of Zen’s allergy.

He looked at the time, Zen’s session was due to go for another two hours. He had time to kill.

“Thank you for the warning, Assistant Kang.” Jumin said quietly. “I’ll make preparations here.”

“Yes sir.” She replied curtly.

Jumin felt at ease with the professional atmosphere between them. It was familiar, and never something he was able to drop when they spoke. If he felt it was appropriate, he would have thanked her. “Now… I do believe you have a vacation you should be enjoying. You should get back to it.” He said as if he was telling her to get back to work on their next project.

She chuckled on the other end, “I will get back to it and enjoy it to the best of my ability. Goodbye.”

Jumin hung up the phone, letting out a long sigh.

He would make preparations for Elizabeth. Better safe than sorry.

Yes... He had a duty to protect Elizabeth as her owner and guardian. This way he could protect her while he was away helping Zen heal.

He called his driver to pick him up, and he was off.

A few hours passed.

Zen’s psychiatry session finally ended, and he wandered out of the room.

He was upset.

How dare this woman talk like she understood what he needed.

Space? Zen needed space from Jumin? He didn’t need that. He wasn’t fucking crazy. There was a fucking maniac out there just waiting for him to slip up. How could she say he needed to leave when she didn’t understand the gravity of the situation?

If he left this place he’d be found.

If he left Jumin’s side he would be taken away.

Why couldn’t she fucking see that?

“Zen…” She said with a warm smile, “I hope you don’t take offense to what I said… I truly feel this will help you have a healthy relationship with Mister Han… I already mailed him a brief report on what i think is the best for you if you choose to stay in his care.”

Zen hated her... no perhaps that was too harsh. He just hated this situation. Why couldn't people just let him have time? 

He wanted his prince to scoop him up and hold him tight here in his home, where he could be safe. Still, he had to be good. If he didn’t want to be taken away from here he had to tell her what she wanted to hear. He told himself that the second he started this session.

Zen gave a nod and a smile. “Thank you for looking out for me, miss. I’ll do my best for you.” He gave her a small wink

She blushed slightly and giggled. “Zen the flattery is hardly necessary, but thank you.” She said with a smile.

That’s right. Fall for my charms like everyone else.

Just don’t take me away from him.

When she left, he ran immediately for the recreation room.

And he sneezed.

Zen sighed, he guessed the allergy medication the doctor gave him wasn’t going to make him completely immune to Jumin’s furball. That didn’t matter at the moment though, Since Jumin was right there where he left him.

“Jumin~” Zen called out, bounding over happily. He stopped when he saw two large security guards taking parts of a metal object past Jumin and deeper into the penthouse.

No wait...was that… a cage?

Zen raised a brow.

Jumin noticed Zen’s curious look and sighed, “Apologies. I purchased a cage for Elizabeth 3rd.” Jumin said quietly. “My father's new girlfriend has Jaehee worried that they’re planning something related to her, and that troubled me so I’ve decided to cage her when I am with you in case they try to sneak in to take her.”

Zen pouted.

A cage seemed a little bit excessive. It was just a cat.

Going to all the trouble to lock her up just to make sure she was fine seemed a bit ridiculous to Zen.

Jumin smiled and held up Elizabeth 3rd, who Meowed happily in her owners arms. “My beautiful one… you’ll be safe and sound in a moment. It will bring me great pleasure to know you are safe while I am away.” he breathed out.

Zen stared at Jumin in surprise. He looked so happy. Did keeping her safe like that really make him feel that good?

Zen looked at the warmth in Jumin’s eyes, the fond way he cuddled up to her. He had never seen Jumin with such a real look of happiness and care.

Zen looked away from them.

He felt uneasy.

He wasn’t jealous of Elizabeth, he knew she was like family to him, but would it hurt Jumin to look at him like that? Jumin had given him understanding looks, had been nothing but good to him yes, but he wanted more. He wanted Jumin to look at him with that warmth. With that same care, to reassure him with emotions as well as words.

Why couldn’t he make Jumin look at him like that?

“Zen are you listening?”

Zen shook out of his thoughts and stared at Jumin. “What? Sorry I spaced out…”

Jumin sighed and got up, “I said I read what the psychiatrist sent. I figured we could talk about it.”

Zen pursed his lips at that. “Can we discuss that later…? I don’t wanna talk about it right now.” He said quietly.

Jumin nodded, “That’s fine. I need to put Elizabeth in her new resting area and then we can have dinner.” He said as he walked past Zen. “If you wish you can wait for me in the dining hall, I shouldn’t be long.”

Zen watched Jumin walk by him. Why wasn’t Jumin holding him like he had this morning? Why didn’t Jumin smile at him in that loving way he smiled at Elizabeth?

Was he taking what the psychiatrist said to heart? Was he going to try to distance himself? Zen knew he was being stupid. He knew Jumin said he didn’t have to leave, but that thought kept nagging him. He didn’t want Jumin to have any reason to put space between them… to push him away…

He didn’t want to be found again by that man.

“I’ll go with you.” Zen said quickly, catching up to Jumin and sniffling a bit as he neared Elizabeth.

Jumin frowned, “You don’t have to. I don’t want your allergies suffering and like I said, I only need to put Elizabeth away-”

“I’ve been poked and prodded and asked questions all morning, i’m exhausted of other people… Right now I just want to be by your side… Is that okay?” Zen asked, his eyes pleading.

Jumin felt a twinge of guilt, and he caved.

“Alright, if that’s what you want.”

Zen smiled, and they made their way up to the elevator, Jumin punching the button to go to the highest floor of the penthouse.

When they stepped into Jumin’s room he was greeted by a large cage. It looked more like it was meant for holding a lion or a bear than for holding a small house cat. A grown human being could stand and easily wander in a cage that size.

Zen guessed he didn’t want Elizabeth to get bored, but still… it was excessive.

Then again everything was excessive with Jumin Han, Zen mused.

Jumin opened the cage, setting Elizabeth down in it before closing the gate and locking it. She meowed a few times in protest, before calming down and purring when Jumin kneeled before her..

Jumin smiled fondly at Elizabeth, petting her through the bars. “You may find me strange for saying this but… Even if it’s unfortunate she has to be caged so… It brings me such peace to know no one can take her when she’s like this. Seeing her behind bars where I know she’ll be safe when I’m not around makes me… happy.”

Zen looked in-between Jumin and Elizabeth.

Jumin looked even happier now than he had moments ago.

His heart ached.

Why… What could he do to make Jumin look at him like that?

_“It brings me such peace to know no one can take her when she’s like this.”_

Zen had an idea.

It was ridiculous and crazy but it was an idea nonetheless.

If it made Jumin look at him like that, look at him with something more than that contemplative face it would be worth it.

“It’s not strange, Jumin.” Zen said quietly, walking over and kneeling down to look at Elizabeth. “She looks so pretty inside the cage… mm, no not just that… the cage itself… its so pretty…”

Jumin’s eyes widened, and he turned to look at Zen, “Come again…?” he asked.

Had Jumin heard him right?

Did he need to get his ears checked?

“Ah… it’s nothing, but...” Zen flushed bright pink and gazed at Jumin shyly, “Can I… mh…” He looked a bit embarrassed.

“Can… you…” Jumin said quietly, his attention squarely on Zen now, “can you what, Zen?”

Zen pursed his lips, smiling cutely before brushing his shoulder with Jumin’s “I know this cage is for Elizabeth but… can I go inside?”

Jumin’s heart was racing.

He didn’t even know what to say to that.

Zen wanted to go inside the cage? Why? What for? Was he curious about what it was like inside there? Or… did he want to be locked up for a bit?

Jumin had to swallow at that last thought. It made him feel… strange.

Zen looked slightly discouraged, pursing his lips and glancing to the side, “ah, is that no good?” he murmured out.

Jumin let out a shaky exhale, before silently getting up, pulling the key out of his pocket and opening the cage. Elizabeth trotted out with a happy meow and rubbed her face on Jumin’s pant leg before hopping up on the couch.

Zen looked up at Jumin hopefully, “C-Can I?”

Jumin nodded slowly. Zen looked so innocent Jumin could hardly stand it. Now he was getting curious, wondering just what Zen would look like confined.

Zen broke out into a smile before slipping into the cage, placing his hands on the bars thoughtfully.

Jumin watched as Zen observed the bars, wandering the small space.

A small space controlled by him.

After a moment Zen stared at Jumin expectantly, “You’re not gonna lock it?”

Jumin’s mind was a record, and it just skipped.

“P-pardon?” Jumin stammered.

“A cage… is meant to be locked right?” Zen said with a smile “Can you lock it?”

Now he wanted to be caged? He wanted Jumin to confine him?

That strange feeling grew. What was this feeling? It was so… exhilarating.

Zen was going to be the death of him.

Jumin let out a shaky breath, closing the door and locking it before pocketing the key. “Is… this okay?” Jumin asked, chancing a glance at his confined charge.

Zen placed his hands on the bars of the door, pulling and pushing a bit. “Ah… I really can’t get out…” He said with a smile, his eyes hooding as he gazed at Jumin. “I can’t go anywhere like this… no one can take me like this.” He said quietly, his fingers tracing up and down one of the bars suggestively, “No one but you, Jumin.”

Jumin felt a foreign ache stir in his chest, and heat pool in his belly at Zen’s words.

What was happening?

“Jumin…” Zen murmured, leaning heavy against the bars as he slid to kneel down, “Do I look beautiful like this?” he purred out, gazing up at his captor with hooded eyes.

Yes… Zen was so beautiful as he was.

Caged by him, all for him and for no one else to look at.

Zen was the most beautiful thing Jumin had ever seen.

“Would I look more beautiful to you… if I let you lock me up like this?’ Zen said softly, reaching out and taking Jumin’s hand as he tugged him forward, pulling him down to eye level. “Would you like that… seeing me like this more?”

“God Zen... “ Jumin finally breathed out. His voice was heavy with need.

Zen smiled. This is what he wanted.

He wanted Jumin to want him.

Wanted Jumin to look at him like he was the only thing that mattered.

“Jumin…” Zen breathed out… reaching up and stroking Jumin’s cheek, “Kiss me…”

And Jumin did.

He kissed him hard through the bars, pulling Zen flush against the barrier that separated them. He nipped Zen’s mouth till it opened, licking into it a few times and eliciting a moan from his captive.

Yes… Jumin’s captive.

God Zen would be beautiful tied up…

Looking beautiful for him, saying pretty words and doing dirty things just for him.

When he wasn’t able to be here, Zen could wait for him tied to the bed, or in a pristine cage.

Zen could think of him, wait only for him until he came home.

Then he’d be the one to give him freedom, freedom to be with him in every way he wanted.

Such a life would be wonderful…

It would be good and pure and perfect…

It would be…

Jumin tensed as he felt a warm hand surrounding his cock.

He opened his eyes and gazed down. Sometime during their makeout session Zen had undone his pants and pulled his dick out. The obscene noises of precum slicked skin as Zen jacked him off was mortifyingly wondrous.

God Jumin could screw him right here, right through the bars.

The sex would be amazing…

_“Sex complicates things… Even if you don’t think it would, if you want what’s best for him you should keep that in mind.”_

Oh god.

Jumin snapped back like he’d been shot.

Zen whined, reaching out for Jumin and letting out a noise of frustration when he was too far away. “Jumin come back-”

“We can’t do this.” Jumin panted out.

What was that? Jumin thought. What had just happened?

He looked at Zen, caged and wanting and his heart clenched in confusion.

How had he lost control so easily? Never in his life had he just given himself to carnal desire like that. Had Zen not surprised him by shoving his hand down his pants he didn’t know if he would’ve been able to stop that illogical line of thought.

Did he want those thoughts to stop though?

These thoughts excited him… but they also troubled him.

They were illogical, but tempting.

He wanted them but he didn’t.

He was confused.

He had to think.

Jumin stood up and pulled the keys from his pocket, opening the cage before stepping back to fix himself up a little.

Zen’s needy gaze turned timid, and he looked Jumin over. “Jumin…?” Zen got to his feet and walked over, reaching out to him “Jumin what’s wrong-”

“Zen…” Jumin trailed off, letting out a shaky sigh as he took a step back. “I think… it would be best if I slept alone tonight.”

Zen felt dread at that, shaking his head and grabbing Jumin’s hand. “I want to stay with you though…”

Jumin gazed at Zen for a moment, his eyes hooded as he squeezed his fingers. “It will just be for tonight… I don’t want to make you upset but… I need to think about things on my own.”

Zen let out a shaky breath, looking absolutely torn. “Fine, I get it.” He grit out as he backed off.

Jumin’s heart ached, “Zen It’s not that I don’t want to lay with you I just-”

“No. Really it’s fine... There needs to be space right?” Zen spat out before turning and storming out of the room, the door slamming behind him.

Jumin’s heart broke at that.

He pushed him away and hurt him.

V said proper distance was good, the psychiatrist told him it was good… So why was it when he did what was good it hurt Zen more?

Jumin sat on his bed and put his head in his hands.

God… what should he do…?

They both lay in bed in different rooms, and sleep didn’t come easy to either of them that night. Space was what they had, and the space made them feel like they were dying a little more with each second apart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so mean ;u;
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Things are going fairly fast timewise but I figured a jumbled and jarring first day for the both of them would be a good set up for everything to slowly spiral out of control~


	5. Break with me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zen kept pushing Jumin, and Jumin kept bending for him over and over. It was only a matter of time before he broke. When he did they shattered together.
> 
> Fluff and then smut.

_They were on the bed, Zen naked and holding Jumin as they kissed, as they touched._

_It was wonderful, perfect, everything Zen knew he needed._

_“Jumin…” Zen breathed out, kissing over Jumin’s face. “I’m so happy here with you…”_

_“Dont’.” Jumin said quietly. “Please don't lie to me… not you… anyone but you Zen.” He said softly._

_Zen was pushed away, and he was confused. Lie? What did he lie about?_

_He did want to be with Jumin, he wanted to stay with him more than anything._

_Jumin backed away from him. He looked so hurt, like his heart was breaking._

_“If I had my way I would keep you locked away just for my eyes. God knowing that such a beautiful creature is mine alone drives me mad with happiness… But I have to let you go…” Jumin said softly._

_here was so much pain in his voice._

_It hurt so much to hear it._

_Jumin please don’t go… please._

_“V and Yoosung are going to take you back to Seven’s. You’ll be safe there with him.” Jumin said quietly._

_What? No. Why did he have to go? He didn’t want to go away._

_I’ll call the psychiatrist that has your file and start scheduling for you to go back. I’m also going to call your manager and have him start feeling around for other smaller roles you can do when you’re ready to go back to work.”_

_This was a dream. It had to be a dream. Jumin would never leave him. He’d never kick him out. He’d never do this to him._

_“Zen… I want to keep you here… god I do. If I could I would.”_

_You can. You can keep me, tie me down if you have to just don’t abandon me please._

_“But I have to let you go.”_

_This is a dream._

_Wake up._

Wake up!

Zen shot up, panting and looking around. His eyes focused on the familiar room. “Fucking hell...” He whispered to himself as he flopped back on the bed in relief. He looked at the clock. 2:30 AM. God he barely went to sleep four hours ago.

That dream had felt so real… like he was living it.

It wasn’t one of his psychic dreams was it?

Zen frowned at that. He wouldn’t let that happen. Jumin was good to him, he wouldn’t force him to go without a reason. So long as Jumin had a reason to keep him he was fine. If he didn’t feel the need to throw him away it was fine.

Still… After what happened a few days ago could he say things were truly fine between them?

Jumin had grown extremely distant. He had gone back to the curt replies and only catering to him personally when he needed it.

He felt like he was losing him.

He suddenly felt anxious. He turned to the phone on the nightstand and eyed it. Jumin did tell him to call if he needed him for anything. He reached out and took it, dialing the number for Jumin’s room and curling up on the bed as it rang.

Jumin jolted a bit at the loud ring that pierced through the room, Elizabeth meowing in protest as she flopped off her owner. Jumin grabbed a few times for the phone, disoriented from sleep as he let out an annoyed groan. Finally he gripped it and ripped it off the receiver, bringing it under the covers.

“Jumin Han speaking.” He said quietly, his voice a little gravelly from sleep.

Zen flushed at the husky tone, pursing his lips a bit, “Ah… Jumin?”

Jumin looked at the clock on his nightstand and sighed, “Do you have… any idea what time it is?“

Zen let out a small apologetic noise, and Jumin felt guilty.

“I’m sorry” Jumin said quietly. “What’s wrong, you can’t sleep?”

Zen swallowed, choosing his words carefully, “No, I can’t… I want you here, Jumin.” He nervously played with a strand of his long hair, “Can’t… can’t you come and sleep beside me?”

Jumin let out a soft sigh. “That is a tempting offer… but I can’t.”

Jumin really couldn’t, he wasn’t ready. He still didn’t quite understand what was best for Zen, and needed time to figure that out.

Zen hummed sadly, hugging his knees close, “Can… can I at least see you?” Zen asked, trying to compromise. “I know it’s selfish but… I don’t want to be alone.”

Jumin rubbed his eyes, letting out a soft yawn before kicking the covers off in defeat and scooping up Elizabeth, “I’ll be there in a moment.” He breathed out, “Let me just put Elizabeth away.”

Zen smiled warmly, “Thank you Jumin.”

It only took a minute for Jumin to appear, hair mussed and clothes askew as he walked in and plopped himself down on the edge of the bed sleepily.

Zen smiled, reaching out and taking his hand. “I’m sorry I woke you.” He said apologetically.

Jumin shook his head, “It’s fine, I’m still on vacation and have no matters to attend to tomorrow.” He said calmly, “Any sleep I lose now I can make up for later.”

Zen hummed in acknowledgement at that, tracing his thumb over Jumin’s knuckles gently. “Hey… Jumin...” Zen flushed shyly “You like me, right?” He asked.

Jumin paused, before nodding easily at the question. There was no reason to deny it with how intimate they had been the first few days of living together..

Zen sighed, flushing deeper as he tried to formulate his words. “I know this may seem strange and sudden but… Just humor me for a bit.” Zen said quietly. “I just… want to ask you a question.”

Jumin eyed him for a minute, before slowly nodding, “I’ll answer it to the best of my abilities.”

Zen pondered how to ask his question, continuing to run his fingers over the top of Jumin’s hand affectionately. “What… do you like most about me right now?”

Jumin arched a brow, perplexed. “I’m not sure what you mean. I like everything about you… but if you mean here, at this exact moment…” Jumin thought about it, looking Zen over. “I love seeing you make that face… I’ve fantasized about it for so long.”

Zen pouted in embarrassment, “Wh-what face… don’t beat around the bush...” he said as he squirmed awkwardly on the bed.

Jumin felt a smile begin to tug at his lips as he watched Zen fidget. He opened his palm, lacing their fingers together. “You’re looking at me like you want something from me… I told you when I brought you home that I’ve always wanted to offer a hand to you even if you’d never take it. Seeing that look on your face is something I’ve wanted to see for so long… It makes me feel needed by you.”

Zen’s heart fluttered at that. It’s true Jumin had always been the first person to come to Zen when he was in a spot.

When gigs were slow and he was worried over rent, Jumin would be there with a job opportunity or offer to introduce him to someone within his network of connections.

When Zen was feeling down, Jumin was the first person to rile him up and get him motivated to try harder.

When he was hurt or not at his best, Jumin was the first to mention he needed to take care of himself better, or say he should send someone over to check on him.

Zen had always thought it was because Jumin wanted to belittle him or show just how weak he was without power or connections… but he had done all of that because he cared. Hearing that Jumin was just happy he could help made him feel good.

Had he known that’s how Jumin felt earlier… he wondered what sort’ve relationship would’ve grown between them over the years.

Would they be good friends? Family? Maybe something more…

“That… mh…” Zen didn’t know how to respond… so he just smiled, “thanks for answering my question Jumin.”

The two stayed in silence after that, just holding hands and enjoying eachothers company. It was nice, and comforting for both of them to just be able to bask in the other’s existence.

But now a question was nagging at the back of Jumin’s mind.

“Since I answered your question… would you be willing to answer one of mine?” Jumin asked quietly.

Zen hummed, looking up at him curiously. “Sure, what is it?

“Do you…” Jumin paused, as if he was hesitant to bring it up, “Do you want something from me?” He asked.

Yes was the obvious answer. He wanted Jumin to swear to him that he’d protect him. He wanted Jumin to promise he would never make him leave, that Jumin would never go too far from him and keep him safe.

He wanted to be protected so he never had to go back to those horrible two months ever again.

But if he said that… there was no doubt he would trouble Jumin. The psychiatrist had talked to him, the others had talked to him. If he spoke honestly he would only be proving them right. If he wanted to have that protection he couldn’t be completely honest… He had to think of another approach.

Jumin liked him… Jumin wanted to feel needed…

He definitely didn’t hate Jumin anymore… He really liked Jumin actually. He was almost upset that he didn’t know just how deeply Jumin cared about him earlier so they could’ve been on better terms.

But he knew Jumin’s feelings now… and he could work with them.

He could turn this in his favor.

“There is something... “ Zen said quietly, shifting closer. “If I tell you what it is… will you consider it?”

Jumin eyed Zen, watching as he moved closer and tensing when the hand in his let go. Zen’s fingers traced up his arm before resting at his nape. He let out a soft exhale as he got lost in Zen’s eyes. “I told you over and over Since you came to be with me Zen… I want to give you whatever you want. Whatever you need…”

Zen flushed as he leaned closer, nuzzling his forehead against Jumin’s, “What if I said… I want you?” He breathed out.

Jumin’s world shook.

Those words brought those thoughts back. Those confusing, exciting thoughts that had caused him to agonize for days, avoid Zen for days.

He trusted V. He trusted him so much. What V and everyone else said sounded right, but what Zen and his thoughts said also sounded right. These views were so different. It was confusing.

Still… he could fantasize. He could entertain those thoughts. They were just thoughts after all. He wasn’t breaking any rules so long as they were just thoughts.

Jumin flushed darkly and cleared his throat. “You want…” He breathed out shakily, “me? Interesting.” he said quietly. “There’s nothing else you want?”

Zen smiled and nuzzled Jumin’s neck, “You asked me to tell you if there was something I wanted… and I really want… to have you. More than anything.”

Jumin’s heart hammered in his chest.

Restraint. Show restraint.

“If… it’s truly me that you want, i will give myself to you.” Jumin said quietly.

Zen smiled in satisfaction, leaning close to him for a kiss.

Jumin brought his hand out to stop Zen, “But only when I feel the time is right.” he said quietly. “Till then… if you need anything else tell me as you think of it… I’m ready to do whatever it takes to satisfy you.”

Seeing the future Zen painted for him was fun. It was exciting and exhilarating.

But he had to make sure that these desires, these thoughts that came with them were appropriate.

“Till the time is right… I wish to observe you Zen.” he said quietly, pulling Zen close and cradling him as he lay on the bed. “I want to see and understand everything about you… bit by bit until i’m sure this is what we both need.”

Zen pouted. Jumin was still trying to be logical about things. It was sweet that he was putting him first, but Zen didn’t want sweet. He wanted safe.

 He would get safe, however he needed to get it.

“Then… one other thing.” Zen said quietly. “If you could go get me some tea to drink? Something to help me sleep?” Zen said with a smile. “Then when you come back I want you to look at me…look at me like you say you want to look at me… for as long as I want you to.”

Jumin smiled, He could do that, it was within the rules he had given himself. “If that’s what you wish“ He kissed Zen’s forehead, “I’ll return soon, and I promise to watch you until you are satisfied.”

So he went down to the kitchen, slowly boiling his water and finding a wonderful banana chamomile tea he picked up from his time in rome. He was sure it would be to Zen’s taste, and would send him right to sleep. He steeped a mug for him and made his way back up to the room.

He opened the door, and dropped the mug in shock.

Jumin could only stare, watching as Zen lay naked over the sheets. He was masturbating, his long fingers disappearing inside of himself only to reappear rhythmically as he fucked himself with the digits. His other hand was teasing the tip of his erect shaft, and lubricant and other viscous fluids were beginning to pool between Zen’s legs from his play.

Zen had no shame, spreading his legs wide and arching off the bed as he let out a soft moan. He panted as he gazed at Jumin from between his legs, his red eyes alight with lust as he squirmed, “Jumin…” He sighed, his eyes hooded, “You dropped my-mh~ tea.” He moaned out.

Jumin’s hands twitched at his sides, keeping his stoic posture as he roved his eyes over Zen once more. “Apologies. I wasn’t prepared for such a… sight.” He said quietly, before glancing to the side, “I should go then-”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Zen moaned out softly to himself. “You-nh… may have your pokerface down but… that bulge in your pants doesn’t lie.. You like what you see.”

Jumin clenched his teeth, before moving into the room and closing the door. “This is something you really should be doing in private, Zen.” Jumin said quietly sitting on the bed and watching as the platinum blonde resumed his pace of stretching and penetrating himself with his fingers.

“It’s private enough yeah?” Zen moaned out, gazing at Jumin with hooded eyes as he circled the tip of his leaking shaft with his finger, precum dripping heavy onto his bare stomach, “No one I don’t want to watch is here…”

Jumin suppressed a shudder as he kept Zen’s gaze. “So you’re saying you want me to watch?” He dared to question, his arousal stirring as his eyes remained glued on the man before him.

“I asked you to watch and you promised… besides…” Zen breathed out, letting go of his shaft and bringing his hand up to tease his chest. “I want you to do more than watch, Jumin.” he purred out, and slipping another finger into his dripping opening, the four fingers slicking on the lube he had inside him and dripping it onto the sheets.

Jumin let out a shaky exhale through his nose, before reaching out and stroking Zen’s thigh, “The psychiatrist I had talk to you said you would be… vulnerable.” He said quietly, gently palming at Zen’s legs and his hips before inching close. “He said if you stayed with me I would have a responsibility to care for you properly-”

“I want you to fuck me, Jumin.” Zen said quietly, bringing a hand up and grabbing Jumin’s shirt, pulling him down onto the bed, “And you want to fuck me too. Stop trying to make things complicated when this is so simple.”

Jumin allowed Zen to pull him, caving his arms around the other man’s head as he stared at him, “You’re not in a good state of mind, Zen… you can’t make decisions like this so easily when you’ll regret them in the morning-”

Zen shut him up with a kiss, quickly molding their mouths together and silencing the complaints before they had time to escape his mouth. He wrapped his legs around Jumin, trapping him flush against his body before pulling away slightly and pressing their foreheads together, his gaze intense.

“The only thing I regret… Is feeling this way because of what that disgusting man did to me…” Zen said quietly. “I don’t want to think about him when i’m like this… I want to think about someone I…” Zen flushed and glanced to the side, “S-Someone I…” He tried to force the words out, before biting his lip and glancing to the side, “Whatever, point is you want this and I definitely want this, so shut up and fuck me.”

Jumin held his gaze for the moment, before closing his eyes and letting out a frustrated sigh. “Honestly. Such a vulgar boy.”

Then Jumin was flipping Zen onto his stomach.

Zen went to protest,but the protest died on his throat as Jumin replaced Zen’s fingers with his own, feeling inside the stretched space. Zen whined and parted his legs, his cock twitching as it sat heavy and erect. “Jumin god… hurry up and fuck me-”

“I do believe.” Jumin interrupted him, his eyes hooding as he rubbed Zen’s walls teasingly, “There is a word you’re supposed to say when you are asking something of someone.”

Zen flushed bright pink as he gave Jumin a dirty look, “You want me to beg, really-”

Zen was silenced by a slap to his rear.

Zen looked at Jumin incredulously.

"Did you just spank me?” Zen breathed out, trying and failing to hide a smirk of satisfaction at the treatment. “I said fuck me not treat me like a child-ah!” Zen let out a soft whine as he was spanked again.

“You don’t just want me to ‘fuck’ you as you so put it.” Jumin said gently, keeping his tone even despite the obvious strain in his trousers. “You want someone to control you… someone to dominate you and possess you. Even if your psychiatrist hadn’t told me about your need for someone to be in control of you right now I would’ve picked up on it.”

Zen felt shame wash over him as he flushed bright pink, “I-Its n-not…” He tried to come up with an excuse for his behavior. “Its not that I want to be controlled I just-”

“You’ve tempted me.” Jumin breathed out. “You’ve begged to come with me every time I have to leave your side. Tried to reason for me to stay with you every second of the day. When I even so much as suggest you visit your manager or go anywhere outside my home you look so lost and scared... “ Jumin bit his bottom lip, stilling his fingers. “...When I said Elizabeth looked beautiful in her cage you went inside it…” He tensed and swallowed, trying hard not to remember the stir of excitement he had felt. “You asked me if… you would be beautiful to me if I locked you up… if I would keep you…”

Zen flushed deep red, his dick twitching at Jumin’s words. He stared at him shyly, “Would you?” He said softly, almost purring at him as he locked eyes with Jumin” Would you … Find me beautiful if I let you keep me like that?”

Jumin froze, moving away from him and breathing in and out shakily. “Zen… don’t ask me things like that-”

“Would you want to keep me if I let you tie me up?” He crawled over to Jumin, straddling his hips as he pressed against him, “I’ve seen the way you look at me, how comfortable you feel when I’m confined where you want me to be. If I let you cage me… would you want me too…?”

If I let you cage me will you keep me safe?

“Zen don’t.” Jumin breathed out. “Please… I can’t-”

Zen grinded his hips down, “You can…. If that’s what you want. If you’ll keep me here and protect me from the outside world then I’ll let you do whatever you need with me to feel satisfied.” He whispered quietly against Jumin’s lips as he kissed him. “Would you love me… if I let you do that?” he breathed out before kissing Jumin hard.

Jumin’s heart hammered in his chest as he gripped the sheets, kissing Zen back a few times before turning his head to the side, “You don’t… understand…” He breathed out quietly. “I do want to protect you… I do. I want to protect you from everything Zen but…” He dared to look at Zen, dared to bring a hand to Zen’s cheek and stroke it. “At the same time I have these thoughts, and I know they’re not right but… I want to leave a mark on you…” He breathed out, leaning forward and cupping Zen’s face in his hands as he did, “So everyone knows you’re mine.” He said quietly.

Zen’s eyes widened slightly, and for the first time since he was brought here his feelings wavered. Doubt settled in his chest as he watched Jumin’s demeanor slowly change, watched his eyes go dark and his face become so different from the Jumin he knew. “What… do you mean? I already want to be yours…”

Jumin shook his head, “No. Not just giving yourself to me emotionally… if you want me to keep you… to protect you from anything and everything… if you keep telling me to cage you… to satisfy myself…” He said with hooded eyes. “I can’t stop this feeling of wanting to own you completely…” He said as he began placing deep kisses against Zen’s lips, speaking in-between them. “Just thinking of you locked up just for me makes me feel so…” He moaned as he suckled on Zen’s bottom lip, “God when you tell me you’ll let me it’s everything I want.”

Jumin held Zen tight.

“I want you to let me absorb everything about you.”

He kissed down Zen’s neck.

“Bit by bit… completely and perfectly I want to take everything from you...”

He bit down on the crook of his neck.

“I want to observe you. Learn what you like, learn what you love to do…”

He continued the small bites until he broke the skin.

“And then I want to bleed into those thoughts until the only thing you like is me…”

He licked the blood that beaded up from the wound

“Until everything you want to do has something to do with me…”

Jumin caught himself, panting as he pulled away slightly, “So please… if that’s not what you want… tell me now…” Jumin groaned out, looking at Zen desperately. “In the end I want you to be happy.”

Zen gazed at him, a worried look on his face. He liked Jumin, he really did but… Was he willing to go that far? Was he really willing to sacrifice who he was completely just to remain here and protected?

He had people he loved… who he cared about. Who he wanted to have visit him here. He didn’t want to leave, but did he really want to just become Jumin’s vision? His ideal lover? To look at him and no one else and bend for him however Jumin wanted him to?

Was he willing to go that far with this charade?

He thought about leaving. He thought about going out.

He thought about being caught again, and his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach.

“Jumin…” He breathed out. “If that’s what it takes to make you happy then… make me yours.” He begged.

This was wrong, but he was scared.

"Lock me up… Make it to where nobody can get to me… and then if it will satisfy you make it to where I can’t ever leave.”

He wanted Jumin to Tell him what he wanted him to do so he could do it.

He wanted Jumin to tell him how he wanted him to think so he could think it.

“I want to belong to you, I want to only look at you, and only think of you.” He breathed out gently, tears filling his eyes. “Please… just tell me you’ll keep me safe and sound here with you?”

He was pleading for something that a very tiny iota of him knew he didn’t want, but the temptation of being safe was too much. If destroying everything he was would be the price to stay in Jumin’s arms, he would do it gladly.

If he just gave Jumin this little push, he’d be safe forever, and he’d never have to be forced to hurt and act out those horrible fantasies ever again. He could fill all of his thoughts, all of his deeds with Jumin so he never had to relive what happened in his heart, in his mind in his soul.

He could let Jumin fill every bit of it till there was nothing left.

Jumin felt his heart soar in his chest, and he held Zen tightly. “Thank you… thank you…” He breathed out. “If that’s what you want, then I’ll make preparations in the morning.” He kissed up Zen’s neck. “Just thinking of you locked up here just for me… God… you will look so beautiful.”

Zen tilted his head back, allowing for the soft kisses. “Yes… I’ll look beautiful just for you…”

Jumin let out a soft groan as he shoved Zen back onto the bed. His eyes roved over his nude form, taking in every inch of him.

“I’ve acquired the most beautiful treasure in the world, so you can stay here… stay safe…” Jumin breathed out, shrugging off his jacket. “Here with me… Just looking at me and listening to me… only me.” He panted out. “I don’t want to hide my emotions anymore… I don’t want to hold back my desire to possess you… Thank you so much for giving yourself to me…”

Zen noticed the way Jumin’s eyes glazed over with lust, the way his cheeks flushed and his cock strained in his pants. It made his heart flutter.

Had Jumin really wanted him this much?

Had Zen made him hold back this much over the time they were together?

Soon, Jumin was completely nude, crawling atop him and gazing at him with hooded eyes.

“Zen” Jumin breathed out. “No… Hyun… I will no longer hide my feelings. I will slowly and successfully have everything you are… I will take you completely.”

Those feelings of unease within Zen slowly died, leaving nothing but want in it’s wake. He brought his hands up and wrapped them around Jumin’s neck, “Take me then… Jumin.” he breathed out.

So Jumin gently grabbed Zen’s legs, circling them around his waist as they slotted together. He slid his hands up Zen’s thighs and palmed gently at his crotch, watching as Zen squirmed slightly from the touch. “Say it again for me… please… say that you’re mine.”

“I’m yours, Jumin.” Zen said stronger, with more conviction. He wanted Jumin to believe he was his… no, he even wanted to make himself believe it.

“God… I feel like if I didn’t have a need to be inside you I could come from those words alone.” Jumin leaned down, mouthing kisses over his neck and chest. He pulled away from Zen, stroking his cock a few times to get it to full length. “But I don’t want it to be over so fast, our first time… I wish to take my time with you.”

Jumin lifted Zen’s legs up, Sliding his shaft between his soft thighs and hugging them close, letting out a soft groan as he did so.

Zen flushed, squirming a bit from the odd position. Jumin was angled to where he could feel the slight brush of their cocks together, and it was driving him crazy. “J-Jumin please move…”

Jumin panted as he looked him over, “Sorry… I just needed to look at you… memorize that face your making… you look so beautiful waiting for me to wreck you…”

Jumin was off in his own little world now.

That was fine, Zen felt himself falling into the moment too.

After a few moments Jumin began to move, sheathing himself over and over between Zen’s thighs.

Zen let his head fall back, whimpering slightly at the stimulation. He felt the tip of Jumin’s member rubbing and teasing at him with each push forward, and it was driving him mad.

“Does it feel good, Hyun?” Jumin asked quietly, chuckling to himself. He quickened his pace, sliding in and out of Zen’s thighs with fervor as precum began to slick around his shaft and along space he was fucking. “It feels so good for me… Just this is blissful.”

Zen just grips the sheets, moaning out as the his train of thought is interrupted by his ever growing pleasure. Jumin’s thrusts get faster, and Zen’s moans get louder.

Then Jumin is pulling off of him, and Zen lets out a whine because he felt so good and now it was gone. Before he can protest he’s being grabbed by the arm and flipped onto his stomach.

Zen barely registers his ass being lifted in the air before all he feels is the slick slide of Jumin thrusting completely into him in one fluid motion.

Jumin pants as he stills his hips, holding their connection as he watches Zen’s back bow in and a deep moan leave his lips.

“God you’re exquisite” Jumin breathed out, rolling his hips into Zen experimentally.

Zen keens slightly before gripping the sheets, “God Jumin please… move more…” He begged. A hand cracked down on Zen’s ass, and he yelped, surprised at the sudden sting.

Jumin had spanked him again.

Zen had never been so turned on in his life.

Jumin ‘tsked’ at him and leaned in to kiss his nape. “At my own pace, my beautiful treasure.” He breathed by Zen’s ear, nipping it playfully afterward.

So Jumin rocked his hips again, setting a slow pace and milking soft moans from Zen’s lips. He watched Zen’s body sway, watched their connection as he slid easily in and out of him.

“What do you want from me, Hyun?” Jumin murmured eagerly.

“I want you to-nh… fuck me harder… please.” He begged.

Jumin chuckled darkly at the response, picking up his pace slightly, “Prove it.” He breathed out.

Zen let out a frustrated keen, before moving to slam back onto the shaft speared into him. He panted as he worked out a rhythm, meeting Jumin’s thrusts head on with eager ones of his own.

“There we go, beautiful… Just like that” Jumin praised, He granted Zen’s wish, fucking him even harder into the bed as he roughly took the man below him.

Zen couldn’t keep his voice down at all. He was happy they were so high up or one of the bodyguards might hear him. No… perhaps that’s what Jumin wanted. He wanted people to know he was being fucked, that Jumin was the one fucking him. He moaned even louder, Jumin’s name falling from his lips over and over.

Seeing Zen completely submissive undid something within him, and he lost his bearing as his pierces became rough and hard.

Zen started sobbing from the stimulation, tears rolling down his cheeks as he moaned over and over from how good he felt. Jumin was hammering into him so hard he felt like he was going to break. “J-Jumin please I’m gonna-hnh-” He pursed his lips before glancing back at Jumin shyly “Can I come please? I-I want to come.” he begged.

Jumin felt heat coil in his core at seeing Zen give up so much control to him. “Yes” He breathed out, “come for me Hyun… Let me see you at your most beautiful, below me and undone by my hands.” He breathed out. Jumin’s thrusts were becoming erratic, his pace sloppy as he felt himself begin to tip over the edge. “Just let go with me” He ordered.

So Zen did, his walls clenching tight around the shaft riding him as cum splattered all over the sheets, roping high and even marking his neck and chin from how hard he orgasmed. He went limp, Jumin holding him up and riding him until he was so oversensitive he could barely take it.

Then a familiar warmth spread within him.

Jumin let out a soft exhale as he gripped Zen’s hips hard, keeping their bodies close together as he climaxed deep, making sure Zen’s body received every bit of him.

Jumin had finished inside him. He had marked his insides, filled him to the brim in a way he only wanted Jumin to do.

Zen flushed deeply at that.

“God…” Jumin breathed out, “I love you so much, Hyun...” He panted quietly, rolling Zen onto his side and capturing his lips in a kiss.

Something inside Zen stirred at that.

It was a strange feeling. Like he would be lying if he said he loved Jumin too. As the man was, he felt like he indeed cared deeply for him, but there was a wrongness that washed over him when he tried to say he loved Jumin back.

But Zen felt warm and safe. He was blissed out and had just been fucked within an inch of his life by the man he’d be seducing for days now.

He couldn’t bring himself to think, to care about that feeling, and it soon died and was forgotten.

“I love you too Jumin….” Zen whispered, holding him tightly and kissing over his face. “I love you so much…”

Jumin smiled warmly at that. “Good...as long as this is what you want, I will claim my ownership over you. Again and again…” Jumin breathed out, tangling himself up in Zen once more. “And again…”

Everything was a blur for Zen after that.

They fucked once more on the bed.

Then again against the wall.

After a small cuddle break they went to take a shower, and went again.

When they got back out they had sex again, and when Zen was too tired to continue, he spread his legs and allowed Jumin to slide back inside him.

The night went on, and eventually Zen dozed to the feeling of Jumin rocking his body into oblivion, passing out to the dull and oversensitive ache around him as he was filled over and over by the man he had given himself to.

That was fine. He was Jumin’s after all.

He had secured his prince. Secured his castle. He didn’t mind paying this price.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins... so much smut needs to be written for the next chapter. I'm excited and scared at the same time rofl.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it, i'll see you guys in the next chapter!


	6. Laying Among Shattered Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zen and Jumin live their life of ruin together.

“The size is perfect.” Jumin breathed out with a warm smile. “You look more beautiful than in my imaginations, Zen.” 

Zen was standing in a three-piece white and gray suit, the accents glittering gold and the back of the coat framing elegantly over his hips. A chiffon cravat sat at his neck, silk gloves adorned his fingers and a pair of jet black heeled boots clicked on the marble floor as he walked. 

Zen flushed at the compliment, closing his eyes and letting out a soft sigh. “I’m glad you like it, I worried it was a bit much when I saw the suit…”

Jumin shook his head, “I have an eye for your beauty, Zen. Anything I pick out for you will look absolutely stunning.” He breathed out.

Zen turned to look at himself in the mirror. He felt a twinge of distaste at the over the top outfit, for him it was much too excessive to just wear around the house.

Jumin’s arms wrapped around Zen’s waist from behind, looking at him in the mirror and playing with his ponytail, “God… you look exquisite… like a beautiful gift.” Jumin kissed his cheek and flushed, “I hope you like it.” Jumin whispered in his ear.

Zen smiled as he looked down.

Thats right, if Jumin bought it for him he would wear it. If Jumin liked it that was all that mattered.

“I love it.” Zen said softly, turning and wrapping his arms around Jumin. “I feel like I've been wrapped up beautifully just for you…” He planted a kiss on Jumin’s lips, “But you know…” He whispered out huskily as he leaned close to Jumin’s ear “Gifts are meant to be unwrapped…” He said with a smile. “That’s the best part isn’t it?” 

Jumin smiled, his eyes hooding as he pulled Zen flush against him, “that it is, my love.” he breathed out, scooping Zen up and carrying him to bed.

Unwrap him Jumin did, delicately and carefully until he was nude on the bed.

Jumin owned him in every sense of the word, and Zen enjoyed him showing it this way the most.

“I love you, Hyun…” Jumin whispered into his neck as he rut into him roughly, gripping Zen’s hips as he slammed into him.

Zen arched back on the bed, whining and hooking his legs around Jumin’s waist tight as he let out a moan, “God I love you too, Jumin…” He panted out, gripping hard at the sheets, focusing on the feeling of Jumin parting his walls over and over with each snap of his hips. “Fuck- J-Jumin please I can I come?” He whined out.

Jumin pulled out of him then, shaking his head as he grabbed Zen and flipped him over, pinning him down hard against the bed. “Not yet… I’m not ready to finish yet.” He breathed out, pressing himself against Zen and rutting against his rear as he fucked against him.

Zen whined, swaying on the bed limply and gripping the sheets. The only stimulation he had was his dick bobbing up to hit his stomach with each buck of Jumin’s hips. 

Still the thought that Jumin was humping him like a dog in heat just so he could get close enough to finish together… 

Only Jumin could turn him on like this. 

“Nh… there we go…” Jumin murmured out, then without warning slammed back into Zen, gripping his hair and shoving his face roughly against the sheets, “Now...” He said as he slammed dead on into Zen over and over, “You can finish for me now Hyun.”

Zen did, climaxing so hard he thought he was gonna black out. 

When he got his bearings, he felt the familiar feeling of warmth pooling in his stomach, glancing back in a dizzy stupor as Jumin pulled out of him. 

Jumin gazed at Zen, taking him in. He burned the image of his flushed face in his mind, those eyes that had tears pricking on the edge of them from overstimulation, his ass raised in the air and his shaft growing soft. He brought a hand to Zen’s rear, parting his cheeks and watching as a thin line of thick, creamy essence trailed down from his entrance and down his thigh, dripping down to mix with Zen’s own climax on the sheets.

“God you’re beautiful Hyun…” Jumin whispered to him before pulling him over, cuddling with him and giving him gentle kisses. “I love you…” He said quietly.

And he did. He loved Zen with all his heart. He wanted to give Zen the world, right here in his home where they could be together with no one else ruining the perfection that was between them.

When Zen returned the kisses and said “I love you too.” He felt he could die a happy man. He would continue to do what he needed for his lover.

The days passed, and Jumin did. He gave Zen anything and everything he thought would make him happy, and Zen accepted it all with open arms. He had never felt so good. He was so happy that he knew everything Zen wanted, knew everything he needed to say and do to make Zen happy. 

The days turned to weeks.

“My god they look beautiful.” Jumin said with a smile. Why don’t you try walking in them?” He mused, sitting back in his chair.

Zen walked out in a white silk dress shirt and red tie, A slim pin-stripe jacket and trousers completing the almost pure white ensemble. His hair was down and his hands were tied behind his back with a pretty red ribbon. 

On his feet were a pair of blood red heeled boots, A platinum cord attaching them together like shackles with blue diamond accents.

Zen gazed at Jumin with hooded eyes as he walked, owning the floor of Jumin’s bedroom as his hair billowed gracefully behind him.

“Yes, your stride is perfect. No actually, you look more beautiful when your body sways less.” He murmured, looking him over. “Hold up your chin more.” he said quietly, directing Zen as he walked.

Zen held his chin up proudly, his body switching to subtle movements on queue as he modeled off the outfit, doing a small turn in place that kept his submissive poise.

He would be perfect, just for Jumin.

“Yes, just like that…” Jumin breathed out. “God Hyun... you walk with such elegance…”

Zen eyed the tent in Jumin’s pants and smiled.

He made his Jumin happy, that was good.

“Yes that’s enough. Stop.” He breathed out, crossing his legs and gripping the armrest to control himself.

“When I’m away on my buisness trip, be sure to always wear those shoes inside the house. If you go further than the kitchen at the end of the hallway on the 2nd floor, you will set off the alarm, so you will have to be careful.” he explained “There’s a micro gps chip on them so I can track where you are with my phone at all times.” 

Zen smiled warmly.

Good… Jumin would know if he left. No one could take him away.

He’d never leave Jumin willingly, his prince was doing this to protect him.

“Thank you so much, Jumin” He breathed out, an elated laugh leaving Zen’s lips as he bowed his head happily. 

“Do you like that all that much…?” Jumin said with a warm smile. I’m glad…. but that’s enough explaining, come now…” He crooked his finger, beckoning Zen.

Zen slowly made his way over, keeping the poise he knew Jumin wanted. He stood in front of his lover, shuddering when hands came out and gripped his hips, tugging him up onto Jumin’s lap. 

“Will you miss daddy while he’s gone?” Jumin asked, stroking Zen’s cheek. 

Zen nuzzled the hand, turning to kiss gently over it, “I always miss you when you’re gone, daddy…” He admitted easily.

Jumin brought Zen close and kissed over his face gently, “Will you think of me?” He breathed out.

Zen smiled warmly, “I only think of you…. Only of you… my daddy is so good to me” He said quietly, returning the kisses and trailing them down Jumin’s neck.

Jumin let out a shaky exhale, grinding their hips together a bit before moving Zen so he was on his knees before him. 

Zen kneeled, keeping his head low but gazing up at Jumin shyly behind his bangs.

Jumin groaned at the look, undoing his pants and stroking himself to the sight. When he was fully erect he brought his hand out, running his fingers through Zen’s long strands of hair, “Come closer” He said quietly.

Zen did, scooting close and relaxing between Jumin’s legs. He rubbed his cheek over Jumin’s inner thigh, kissing the base of his shaft gently.

Jumin took Zen by the hair and pulled his head back slightly, guiding the tip of his shaft up and tracing it along his lower lip, glossing it with precum as the petal soft opening dipped into the slit. Zen flushed pink and let out a small noise and Jumin felt absolutely filthy in the best way.

“Open.” Jumin ordered.

Zen did, exhaling through his nose as Jumin slid his shaft past his lips. He shifted to get comfortable on the floor before pressing close, swirling his tongue along Jumin’s tip. 

The hand in Zen’s hair tightened, and Jumin gripped hard as he bucked forward.

Zen let out a small whine as Jumin’s shaft hit the back of his throat, but he didn’t gag. No he had practiced plenty with Jumin, he knew how to handle him now. He relaxed his throat, allowing Jumin to fuck into his mouth eagerly, feeling the tip brush all along him as he swallowed expertly around his shaft.

Jumin pierced into his mouth over and over, feeling the tight squeeze of Zen’s throat at his tip. When Zen squirmed against his restraints due to lack of air he switched it up, pressing his cock into the pocket of Zen’s cheek and ramming in so hard he could easily see the indention of his length as it slid in and out of his willing mouth. Once he was sure Zen caught his breath, he went right back to that sinful throat that took him in all too well.

“God Hyun… you look so pretty taking everything I give you…. Nh… so beautiful just for me…” Jumin panted out, he wasn’t going to last long this time. “Look at me…” He pleaded.

Zen did, and he spilled thick and hot into his mouth.

Zen flushed and took it all, not letting a single drop escape him. He suckled on the organ in his mouth, milking it for all it was worth. 

Jumin collapsed back in his chair, panting and watching Zen as he licked his softening shaft clean, groaning slightly from over-sensitivity. “That’s enough, Hyun.” He breathed out, getting up and pulling Zen into a tight hug, “Come to bed… I wish to lay with you tonight for as long as I can before I have to leave in the morning…

Zen closed his eyes and nodded, allowing himself to be guided to rest beside Jumin.

When Jumin left, he thought only of Zen. It drove him crazy not being able to see him, but he was sure the man missed him just as much. 

The two talked at any point that Jumin wasn’t busy. He had Zen on video chat while he worked in his hotel room, watching Zen make himself tea and relax in the recreation room with Elizabeth.

He had finally found the perfect combination of medicines for Zen. , He could sit with Elizabeth no problem now. Zen told him about his workout, about the food he ate and a dream he had. When he asked what he thought about during the day, Zen smiled easily.

“You.” Zen breathed out. “Even if you’ve been gone… all I think about is when you’re coming back to me.”

Jumin smiled at that. “Good… I’ll be checking whether or not you’ve had other thoughts while i’m not there.”

Zen pouted “How could I have other thoughts when you’re the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me, Jumin…” Zen whined, “Does daddy doubt my love?”

God Jumin wished he could reach into the screen and pull Zen through it.

“ It’s not that I don’t trust you… but people tend to make mistakes when they let their guards down… I want you to be with me always, Mind, body and soul… That’s what you want too yes?”

Zen’s eyes hooded, and he lay back on the couch. He lifted one of his bright red boots to the screen, tracing the heel along the side of the monitor. “Yes… that’s what I want… I want to be owned by you, loved by you… only you so I can flood my thoughts with you. I don't’ want to think of anyone else…” Zen smiled warmly, teasing over his body innocently “Make me forget everything else, Jumin… That’s all I want.”

Jumin smiled warmly, tracing the screen fondly as he let out a soft sigh, “Then that is what I will give to you… It’s okay if you slip and think of others though… Even if you make a mistake like that I’ll never abandon you.”

Zen’s thoughts began to trail, began to think of white hair with pink ends, of mint eyes. 

He snapped those thoughts right back to Jumin.

“Never…” Zen breathed out. “I love you so much Jumin… I’m yours, and I’ve loved you since I became yours…”

Jumin smiled at that, “Yes… I’ve loved you for so long… Please don’t ever forget that I love you… don’t ever forget that we are in love…” He breathed out. 

Zen smiled, “I won’t ever forget… Never Jumin…”

Jumin smiled, before sighing a bit when his phone began to ring. “Alright, I have to go Zen… you take care.”

Zen nodded. “I’ll miss you… bye.” He said with a chuckle before signing off.

He turned and picked up his phone, “Jumin Han speaking.”

“Hey Jumin, it’s V.” V said, his tone sounded serious.

Jumin raised a brow, leaning back, “Hello V, what can I do for you?”

V sighed, “So I’ve had Seven trailing the culprit, we think we got a lead on him and… i can assure you that he won’t take Zen again. Guy’s quick but if he tries to take anyone else Seven will be on his trail in moments… Seven says he probably won't’ try again because of that.”

Jumin nodded, that was good to know, “I’ll keep that in mind. Is there anything else?”

“Well yes.” V started, “I was wondering if-”

“V~” Yoosung’s muffled voice bled into the conversation, shuffling heard on the other line, “Ask Jumin about the stuff” He whined.

V chuckled, “Alright alright.” he said quietly, a small kissing noise heard over the phone.

Jumin frowned. “Displays of affection should be kept private.” Jumin scolded.

“I was just kissing his forehead, don’t get your panties in a knot.” V said with a chuckle, “Anyway how is Zen? Yoosung’s been worried about you two, and I’ve been too.” 

“Yeah, why haven’t either of you been on the messenger? Jaehee says you’ve been busy but she sounds worried too…” Yoosung’s slightly muffled voice rang out.

Jumin sighed, “I’ve been busy as Assistant Kang has told you. As for Zen… he’s been recovering at his own pace. He’s been better.”

V hummed, “He seems better. Seven gave me a checkup report and he’s been working out again, cooking meals and wandering, and he seems happy… it’s better than when I came to check on you and he refused to leave the room.”

Jumin sighed, “My cameras are not your personal playthings, they are there for monitoring employees…”  
“I mean you removed all the ones that were in private areas of the penthouse. I can’t stop Seven from being worried.”

Jumin frowned, “Don’t lie, I know you can get him to stop with just a few choice words… but that’s beside the point. Zen will open up when he needs to, I’m taking proper preparations to cater to his needs.”

V got quiet, and Jumin could feel his skepticism through the phone. “Well so long as you understand. Anyway, I know you must be busy Jumin, I’ll leave you to work.” 

Jumin let out a hum of acknowledgement, “Give Yoosung my best.” He said quietly, before hanging up the phone. He let out a long sigh as he leaned back in his chair. Telling V and everyone that Zen was his lover was going to be difficult, but when the time was right and he knew how to tell them in a way they’d understand he would. 

He was sure they would be happy for them. He and Zen were in love, that was what was most important right?

Yes. So long as they were in love nothing else mattered.

Jumin finished his work abroad and went home. When he came in, all was quiet.

He frowned, the house was eerily empty, no lights on, as if no one was home. 

He didn’t like it.

“Zen?” Jumin called out, wandering up to his room where he had ordered Zen to stay and wait for him when he got home.

When he got there, his breath caught in his throat.

“Welcome back daddy~” Zen purred out.

Zen was laying on the bed, wearing nothing but tight black pants that were strained at the crotch, and a red ribbon around his neck tied in a big red bow. He was laying on the bed and palming himself over his clothes as he gave Jumin the most amazing pair of bedroom eyes he’d ever seen.

Jumin dropped his briefcase and stormed over, shrugging off his jacket before crawling over him.

“I missed you…” Zen whined out as Jumin placed hard kisses all over his neck.

Jumin exhaled through his nose, biting down hard before shifting up and nipping Zen’s bottom lip, “I missed you too… so much… god I missed you.” He breathed out, before slamming their lips together.

Yes… so long as they were in love, nothing else mattered.

No one else mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh, montage of things lol.
> 
> I decided to make this a timelapse type chapter, but I enjoyed writing it a lot :D
> 
> See you in the next chapter.


	7. A Time to Tear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V, Yoosung and Seven have an intervention for the broken couple.

“V… i can’t sleep.” Yoosung said quietly as he flopped into bed with the older man.

V stirred, his eyes opening a bit. “Mm… what’s wrong Yoosung?” He said with a yawn, staring at the clock “3:02 AM...mh… you really should be sleeping.” He said quietly. draping an arm over him as he pulled Yoosung close, trying not to doze right back off from his warmth.

Yoosung allowed for the cuddles, tucking his head under V’s chin and looking at his phone. “Jumin and Zen haven’t been talking to us for months.” Yoosung said with a pout. “Are you sure they’re okay?”

V let out a soft sigh as he rested with Yoosung, “I’ve had Seven check the cameras in Jumin’s house from time to time. Jumin’s taken the camera out of Zen’s room but Seven says Zen looks fine. They eat together and talk and things… Nothing strange seems to be going on save for Zen’s reluctance to leave… but he looks better.“

Yoosung didn’t seem convinced, letting out a frustrated noise before pressing his face into V’s chest, “Can’t we go visit them? I know Jumin said no but… I want to see Zen with my own eyes…”

V pondered this. It was strange that it was taking so long for either of them to open up. Despite Jumin reassuring him that he was going to do what’s best, he wondered how Zen was faring.

V smiled and brought his hand up, stroking Yoosung’s nape fondly, “I’ll text Seven and we’ll go to his house, see what we can dig up. If things seem sketchy we’ll go see Zen alright?” he breathed out. “I don’t want to break Jumin’s trust for no reason… but We’ll make sure things are okay.”

Yoosung smiled brightly at that, “Thank you V… Sorry to push like i’ve been, i’m just worried.”

V kissed Yoosung’s forehead. The boy really was too sweet, like a little angel. He figured it ran in his family. He pulled out his phone and set it to wake him when Seven texted back.

“Alright get some sleep, we’ll head out when he wakes up enough to give us the okay.” He murmured, lazily tangling himself with his young charge as he felt the tendrils of sleep pull him back in.

Yoosung nodded and closed his eyes, relaxing in V’s hold as he slowly dozed off to V’s even heartbeat.

About an hour later he got the okay to visit, V drove them to Seven’s, Going through the motions at the door and making his way through the intricate security system with ease.

“I still don’t get how you’re able to answer all those ridiculous questions and remember so many passcodes.” Yoosung said with a pout.

V laughed, “It’s part of my charm I guess… Seven you here?” He called out.

The redhead popped his head out of an obscenely large pile of laundry on the couch, blinking at them sleepily. “God… I just got to sleep. I thought you were coming LATER…”

Yoosung pouted, “Sorry Seven, but we need you to make sure Zen’s safe.”

Seven whined, “Ech… Isn’t our narcissistic adonis currently as safe as can be with Jumin? I mean the guy has a ridiculous amount of physical security.”

V sighed, “I think Yoosung means safe in Jumin’s care. We haven’t heard anything from them in months, and Jumin hasn’t been giving me any updates at all unless I call him.”

Seven grumbled as he got out of the sea of shirts, pants and various hoodies, wearing nothing but his boxers as he scratched his head. “Alright, you two make yourselves at home, I’ll see what I can dig up.” He murmured, looking a bit cranky as he made his way up to his big computer.

Yoosung smiled brightly, taking V by the wrist and leading him to one of Seven’s large computers. “Well since we’ll be here for a while, sit with me V.” He said brightly, dragging the couch toward the desk so he could sit at it, putting the mouse and keyboard on a small table in front of him.

V smiled, and the two men cuddled on the large couch as Yoosung started up the game, waiting for Seven to tell them what he found.

Time passed, and as they waited, Jumin and Zen played in the early hours before Jumin had to go to work.

“N-m…” Zen moaned out, flushing pink as he swayed hard over the bathroom counter from Jumin’s thrusts. “Daddy… kitty is tireddd” Zen whined. He was all fucked out, this being their third time having sex in an hour. Zen couldn’t even get it up anymore.

Jumin smiled at Zen, stroking his nape gently before bringing his hands up to a pair of cat ears clipped onto Zen’s head, “Has daddy been too rough with his kitten?” He said with a chuckle.

Zen whined and nodded, resting against the cool marble counter and spreading his legs, “Kitty likes having daddy’s milk… but he’s already got too much inside…” he breathed out tiredly.

Jumin smiled and pulled out, stroking himself a few times, “Then Kitty can have his milk in a different way today… Kneel.” Jumin ordered.

Zen smiled and kneeled in front of Jumin, closing his eyes and sticking his tongue out expectantly.

“Yes Hyun.. Just like that… god you look so beautiful…” And with that he finished, showering Zen in thick ribbons that coated his hair and face, some getting into his mouth. Zen licked his lips, opening his eyes and smiling playfully, “kitty hopes he pleased daddy even if he couldn’t keep up with him today... “ Zen said huskily.

Jumin smiled and picked Zen up, taking his cat ears off and moving to the shower with him, “You always please me Hyun...” Jumin said quietly, turning on the water and washing with him. “Hmm you’ve lost weight, I should tell the nutritionist to change your meal plan… I’m going to be gone a while, but I will leave lunch with you in your cage. I hope you’re in the mood for roast beef and a few wholesome sides.”

Zen smiled and nodded, “That sounds wonderful Jumin.” Zen said as he hugged Jumin close, kissing him eagerly.

Jumin returned the kisses wrapping his arms around Zen and stroking up and down his back, “Mm... “ He pulled away slightly, “Zen…” He breathed out, “I’ve been thinking a lot about us these past few months, and… I think it’s time we took the next step in our relationship.” He said quietly, kissing Zen’s forehead.

Zen flushed, staring up at Jumin shyly, “What kind of steps?” He asked curiously.

“I… think it’ll be better discussed with a more intimate atmosphere but… just so I know…” Jumin cradled Zen’s cheek in his hand, gazing into his eyes, “You wish to spend the rest of your life with me, Yes?”

Zen smiled warmly and pulled Jumin into a hug, “Yes… You’re my one, my only… I never want to let you go…”

Jumin’s heart soared, and he kissed Zen’s temple, “Then we’ll talk more when I get done with work. Come let’s have breakfast.” He said as he turned off the shower. “...I love you, Hyun.” He said with a warm smile.

Zen smiled at him, “I love you too, Jumin.” He said easilly.

The two wandered out to get dressed.

Back at Seven's Bunker things were peaceful.

The large clock in Seven’s room read 6:40AM. Yoosung hummed hapilly to himself, having taken a break from LOLOL to relax with V on the couch. V was currently asleep, his head on Yoosung’s lap while the blonde messaged Jaehee on the messenger.

V stirred slightly, seeming restless as he curled up and pressed his forehead into Yoosung’s stomach. “Rika….” He breathed out quietly.

Yoosung smiled sadly and stroked V’s cheek, running his hands through Vs hair “it’s okay V… i’m here.” He cooed out quietly. ”I’ll always be here.”

V relaxed back to a peaceful sleep at that, and Yoosung went back to texting.

At least he would have, had Seven not shrieked out a “What?!” like a little girl.

V stirred and opened his eyes, and Yoosung let out a small whine. “Seven! You woke V up... !” He said with a pout.

Seven glanced over, flushing bright pink, “Well um… Sorry I uh… found something.” He said as he fixed his glasses. “I dug a little deeper since I couldn’t find anything on the cameras… and I MAYBE decided to check Jumin’s personal bank account to see if there were any strange inconsistencies… and um… eheh…”

Yoosung helped V to sit up, stroking his back soothingly as he gave him a small smile.

V returned the smile before turning to look at Seven, “What did you find?” he murmured,

Seven scratched the back of his head, looking like he was searching for the proper words to say. “Um… hmm… well for one Zen only went to the psychiatrist once. It was supposed to be a weekly thing but aside from the first time he went Jumin hasn’t taken him since.”

Yoosung pouted, “What? Then how is he getting treated…” He said quietly

Seven frowned. “I wondered the same thing so I checked and he’s got a more… private account I dug up… mm… he’s been buying some… strange things.” Seven said with a flush.

V raised a brow, “What kind of things?”

Seven laughed nervously, “Well let’s read off the list… Several cages, ropes and chains, various costumes of the not so innocent variety, I would know, and um… well… a couple… no a lot of sex toys and various things I’d probably see in a BDSM sex dungeon.”

Yoosung and V stared at Seven, both absolutely flabbergasted

V stood up. “Pen in an appointment to check up on the house in the bodyguards watch list. Make sure it’s at a time Jumin is at work. “ he ordered. “Then get a kit ready, we’re gonna pay Zen a visit.” V said quietly, turning to Yoosung.

Yoosung was sad, looking up at V with worried eyes, “Zen’s okay right? Nothing bad’s happened to him right?” He asked timidly.

V smiled reassuringly, pulling Yoosung into a gentle hug and kissing his temple, “If he isn’t we’ll save him okay? Don’t worry…”

Yoosung nodded, taking comfort in the small hug as he let out a soft sigh.

Seven scratched the back of his head, “Well you two are free to use my bed. Get some rest and i’ll wake you when it’s getting around time to make a house call.” He said quietly.

Yoosung smiled, taking V’s hand end entwining it with his as he led V down to Seven’s bedroom.

Seven watched as they disappeared, “I thought the second Yoosung accepted V that our relationship problems among the RFA would be over… If those two can learn to co-exist healthily… I hope Jumin and Zen can too.” He let out a long sigh, pushing his glasses up and typing away as he got to work on getting them past Jumin’s security.

Midday, Yoosung, V and Seven made their way to Jumin’s penthouse, easily making their way past security once they checked their planners and seeing them arrive right on Seven’s altered schedule.

Yoosung let out a sigh of relief as they walked past the elevator doors, before glancing at Seven. “Seven, I get that we’re infiltrating and stuff but… why are you dressed like that?” he asked shyly.

Seven was currently wearing his french maid attire, complete with long flowing hair, makeup and a flattering petticoat with a filling front.

He smiled, clicking the button to go up to Jumin’s penthouse and swiping a key he made to allow him access. “Well no matter what Jumin’s forbidden me from entering his compound when he’s not home. If I tried to schedule myself in to go then I think it would’ve set off alarm bells.” He said with a wink. “Since the bodyguards aren’t allowed inside, we can walk around freely now that we’re past the muscle~” he said triumphantly, letting Yoosung and V out of the elevator first. “The security feeds outputs are all put on a loop too, we’ll be invisible to anyone monitoring the CCTV cameras till I stop the loop. So if Zen needs help we can get him and get out-”

“Seven we’re gonna need to get him out.” V ordered seriously from the bedroom.

“Oh my god, Zen?!” Yoosung said

Seven ran in and his eyes widened at the scene.

Zen was sitting in a large cage wearing a pinstripe shirt and tight pants, he was chained by his wrists to one of the bars.

Seven let out a slow breath, “What the hell…”

Zen stared nervously at them, “You’re not supposed to be here, Jumin’s gone…”

“Damn straight he is, we wanted to make sure you were okay! God Zen…” Yoosung breathed out as he gripped the bars and shook them.

V swallowed, not sure what to say before turning to Seven. “Seven can you get him out? Discreetly?”

Seven eyed the lock, there was a traditional key lock and also an electronic one with a touchpad and keycard setup. “Yeah I think i’ll manage.” He murmured, setting down a briefcase he’d been carrying with him and opening it up, revealing a laptop, various electronic equipment and a picking set.

Zen shook his head, “I don’t want to leave… I want to stay here.” Zen said worriedly. “Jumin’s not keeping me against his will, he’s trying to protect me!”

Yoosung teared up, “He’s not caring for you, he’s keeping you like a caged animal! This isn’t good for you Zen!” Yoosung yelled out.

Seven sighed as he opened the side of the electronic lock, staring at the wires and pouting as he hooked up a few things from his computer to the lock and began typing. “Stop shouting, I have to work. If I screw up we’ll be in trouble.” He said with a pout, “Jesus Jumin you don’t fuck around when it comes to this stuff. The lock itself has its own server tied to the whole complex’s security system” he mumbled as he typed away.

V bit his bottom lip, “Zen… I know things are hard right now but this isn’t right… it’s inhumane and there is no way to justify this as okay…”

Zen shook his head, tugging against his restraints. “I asked him to do this for me. Jumin’s the only one who understands… he’s the only one who wants what’s best for me….” he teared up, “Why can’t you just leave us alone?”

“Because you’re currently short a few marbles, Zen.” Seven said quietly, hitting enter and letting out a satisfied sigh when he saw a green light appear on the keypad, signalling it was unlocked. “There… now for the key lock…” he said quietly, pulling out a lock picking kit and going to work on it.

Zen shook his head, “I’ve never been so sure of something in my life… you can’t do this to me!” Zen yelled, struggling against his chains, “I’m staying here, you can’t take me.”

Seven sighed as the lock clicked open, going in and grabbing Zen’s arm as he worked at undoing the chains. “You’re coming right back home with me, and i’m gonna get you some help.” Seven said with a pout, “Mary Vanderwood 3rd will probably have someone who can help you out of the mental mess you’ve gotten yourself into.”

The lock on the handcuffs clicked, and Zen punched Seven in the face.

I’m staying!” Zen yelled, kicking Seven out of the cage and backing up into it.

Seven whined and held his nose to hold the bleeding, looking over at V “Help me with him please..?” he asked.

V sighed and shook his head. “Told you we were going to need the sedative… Yoosung help hold him down.”

They did, and V felt his heart twinge as he saw Zen kick and scream and cry, his heart breaking as he begged to be left alone.

“I’m sorry…” V said quietly, administering the sedative and waiting with Seven and Yoosung as Zen began to struggle less, when he was dazed and practically passing out V grabbed him and lifted him up. “C’mon, I’ll carry him.” He said quietly as he scooped Zen up and placed him on his back.

Seven went to the elevator, swiping his keycard and pressing the button to go to the garage. “I’ll hotwire one of his cars and disable his gps tracking, then we can dump the car somewhere and get Zen the help he needs… we’ll explain things when Zen is better.” Seven said with a sigh, the elevator went down, they were almost home free.

And then a loud beep came from Zen’s bright red boots.

The elevator shut down, and Yoosung screamed.

“What the hell?! SEVEN DO SOMETHING!” Yoosung whined.

Seven pursed his lips, ripping open the elevator’s console and messing with the wires a bit. He frowned, “It’s no good, the power’s been cut… We’re sitting ducks…” He glared at Zen’s boots, “A contingency in his fucking shoes? Jumin was NOT fucking around with this…” He murmured.

V bit his lip, letting out a shaky sigh, “Well we’ve been had… guess all we can do is wait…” he murmured out, setting Zen down in the elevator corner before sitting down.

Yoosung sat by V, staring at him timidly, “V… Jumin won’t… do anything scary will he?”

V smiled warmly at Yoosung, entwining their fingers and kissing Yoosung’s temple, “he won’t. Though… you should probably let me do all the talking with Jumin, okay?”

Seven mumbled, shoving tissues up his nose to clean out the blood before crossing his arms, “No one gives me a hug or a kiss. Jealous. JEALOUS.” He said with a frown.

V chuckled and pulled Yoosung into a small hug, resting his chin on Yoosung’s head, “You want to have a relationship like this with me Seven? I didn’t think you had it in you.”

Seven flushed and glanced to the side, “Eugh… forget I said anything.”

So the three waited. It took less than five minutes and then the elevator was moving. When it opened Jumin was there with an army of bodyguards.

Jumin sighed and raised his hand, “Stand down, they’re fine.” He said with a frown, looking at V, “I’m surprised at you V. Yoosung as well…” He turned to Seven and raised a brow, “Seven what the hell are you wearing and what happened to your face?”

Seven frowned, “It’s a disguise and as for my face, your boy toy got to that.” he said with a pout.

“Please refrain from calling him that… breaking and entering and then kidnapping… I could have you arrested you know.” Jumin scolded.

V sighed and got up, looking at Yoosung and Seven, “Take Zen back up to Jumin’s room to rest...“ He turned back to Jumin, “I trust you’re willing to have a little talk?”

“Always, V.” Jumin said with a small sigh, walking after V as they went to their usual spot in the kitchen.

V poured Jumin a glass of wine and offered it to him, Jumin taking it quickly and taking a swig.

“I’m disappointed in you Jumin.” V said quietly. “And also hurt that you’d lie to me and betray my trust like you have.”

“I never lied, I’m helping Zen in my own way and he’s happy for it.” Jumin said with a sigh.

“He was caged, Jumin. He was caged and lashed out at us like we were strangers.”

“Well you were pestering him.” Jumin quipped.

“He punched Seven.” V said with a frown.

Jumin paused, and took a sip of his wine, before swirling it. “Well… Seven DOES has a very punchable face-”

“Jumin.” V warned.

“Look, Zen wants to stay here. He wants me to protect him.” Jumin said with a frown, crossing his arms.

“Yes, I understand. It’s good that you want to help him and it’s great that you’ve taken liberties to keep him safe, but right now he doesn’t need safe, he needs help.” V said quietly. “You were doing good. You were taking him to a psychiatrist, you were encouraging him to go out more!”

“He was unhappy.” Jumin argued back. “He told me he didn’t want the treatments. He told me he didn’t-”

“I told you it would be hard for him, You said you were prepared!”

“You didn’t have to see him, you don’t know what he’s been through. Your advice was hurting him!” Jumin yelled back, “He doesn’t need to be hurt anymore-”

“You don’t UNDERSTAND Jumin.” V bellowed at him angrilly, slamming his hands on the desk. “Just because someone is scared…” V pursed his lips. “Just because they don’t want the help because it scares them… it doesn’t mean they don’t need it.” He said quietly, tears filling his eyes as he choked on a sob. “Please… don’t make the same mistakes I did with Rika…”

Jumin’s eyes widened, dread pooling in the back of his mind as he recalled the pain of seeing V hurt, seeing what Rika had become. The anger he felt at watching V take all his burdens on himself till it almost killed him.

“Rika was sick…” Jumin reasoned. “Zen isn’t sick, he’s just scared… that’s why I’m protecting him-”

“Yeah well I wanted to protect Rika too and look where that got me… look where it got us.” V spat out. “What you’re doing, Jumin… it’s important. Supporting him is important but you can’t shield him from life like you are.” he said quietly. “He has to grow. He has to be his own person. He’s not a pet, and he’s not something to be owned. You can’t cherry pick his life for him even if he says he wants it, because deep down you and I both know it’s not what he wants.”

Jumin grew silent, his knuckles white and shaking. He was confused. He thought he understood what Zen needed.

“He seems… so happy with me…” Jumin breathed out. “When I have to leave him it’s hard… and when he begs me not to leave his side it hurts even more…” He murmured quietly. “Does… Do I really… not know what’s best for him?”

“Jumin…” V said quietly, letting out a long sigh as he searched for a way to make him understand. ““Remember when you first met Zen?” V asked quietly, his tone warming up slightly. “Remember how I apologized over and over for him?”

Jumin paused, surprised at the sudden change of topic.

He thought back on his first meeting with Zen, and couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah… He tossed his drink in my face and stormed off while Rika chased after him.”

The charged atmosphere between V and Jumin dissipated, and suddenly they were good friends again.

V chuckled. “There. Right there. You had that smile on your face.” V said as he made a frame with his fingers. “I asked you why you were happy then… do you remember what you said?”

Jumin laughed “I said… he was interesting. Looking someone who could literally give him anything and everything he needed to be successful in the face, calling him a spoiled brat and then basically throwing an egotistical tantrum about how he wouldn’t be owned by a corporate pig like me.”

V leaned against the wall. “Why was he interesting, Jumin?”

Jumin got a far off look, warmth radiating easily off him as he reminisced, “Because he was the first person since you and Rika... who didn’t put on airs around me.” He said fondly. “He was the first person in so long that told me exactly how he felt about me completely, honestly, and without restraint… and he continued to do so every day after that.”

V smiled. “You followed him out to his little secret spot and invited him to the RFA party without my permission. You chased after him right after I told you more about him.”

Jumin smirked, “Well, you made him a member the night of the party.”

“Because Rika said it was a good idea. He was an aspiring actor who was compassionate and good for our cause… no… more than that…” V smiled. “He was all those things… but he was also good for you, Jumin.”

Jumin raised a brow. “Good for me? In what way?”

“You opened up so much after he joined.” V said with a smile. “Before he came along you were all business, just checking in on occasion to make sure plans were going well with the next party and then logging off immediately afterward.” V laughed, “When you started shit posting and teasing him everyone thought that it was the end of the world. Jumin Han, playing coy. Jumin han getting into little squabbles. Jumin han flirting unashamed just to get a rise out of the new member.”

Jumin flushed in slight embarrassment. “I mean yes… you know I was attracted to Zen for a while before I had to accept I… wasn’t his type.You know better than anyone that I care deeply for him.”

V found it, a way for Jumin to understand.

“You cared about him because of who he was… but what about now?” V said quietly. “Can you really say you care about him just as much now?”

Jumin narrowed his eyes, “I don’t… understand.”

“Is the Zen now the same Zen you care about? Is he the same honest Zen you told me you respected and cherished for his honesty? The same free, independant man you told me you could trust to always tell you the truth as it is, and not just say what you want to hear?” V said quietly.

Jumin felt his blood run cold.

V smiled sadly. “Do you remember what you told me a few months ago when I came over with everyone? You said it was like he was broken… it was like Zen was still in there, but the pieces you liked the most were fragmented, and that you wanted to make him Zen again… Do you think the person sitting in that other room is the Zen you wanted to see? Is he the Zen you wanted to salvage?

Jumin felt a whirlwind of confusion hit him.

He thought about Zen. He thought about who Zen was. Thought about how he was now versus how he was before. He thought about their long drawn out conversations they used to have, and the short to the point ones they had now before sex. He thought about the things Zen hated, and the things he loved.

When was the last time Zen had told him he hated something? When was the last time he said he wanted to do something?

Seven came in, frowning with a newly forming bruise around his eye, “Jumin, Zen’s awake.” He said angrily.

Jumin pursed his lips, before downing his wine. “I need to go talk to him.”

“Do what you need to do, Jumin.” He said quietly, watching as Jumin turned and went back into the bedroom.

When he got there, he was greeted with a seductively tousled Zen, bedhead and shirt askew and looking at him with wonderful bedroom eyes.

Zen smiled at him from the bed,“Jumin, did you make V go away~?” Zen practically purred out. “I missed you… please come to bed.” He begged him.

Jumin let out a shaky sigh. He had to show some self restraint.

“Zen…” He said quietly, going and sitting on the edge of the bed “sit with me.” he asked.

Zen eagerly crawled over, wrapping his arms around Jumin and kissing down his neck.

Jumin stopped him. “Zen… I was thinking…” He tried to formulate his words carefully. “How about we have dinner tonight?”

Zen smiled and nodded, “if that’s what you want, Jumin.” He said excitedly.

Jumin nodded, before glancing to the side. “Then… what would you like to wear? I’ve picked your clothes for a long time now and I can’t help but feel you must tire of me constantly dressing you.”

Zen hummed slightly to himself, “Mm… I like what you pick for me, I don’t really need to wear anything else.”

Jumin pursed his lips, “Then… what about food? What would you prefer? I can get you anything you’d like to eat.” He murmured out.

Zen shook his head and cuddled against Jumin, humming slightly. “I’ll eat whatever you order me. I want whatever it is you want to give me.”

Jumin felt a small twinge of wrongness for the first time their relationship started.

“Then… how about escargot? I can have it ready for us to eat by candelight.”

Zen smiled and kissed Jumin’s forehead. “Mm… snails right? I love it. That sounds perfect, Jumin… absolutely perfect.” He breathed out. “A perfect night to end the day with you.”

Jumin stared at Zen, his heart breaking slightly.

How had he not seen it?

“Then how about a movie? I know a good one with Echo Girl that came out recently.” He said quietly.

“Sounds perfect, Jumin.” Zen continued, kissing his cheek, “Perfect as always.”

Jumin let out a shaky sigh.

How had he not seen just how wrong this was?

“You hate snails.” Jumin murmured out.

Zen cocked his head to the side, “What?”

“You… hate them. You said escargot was one of your least favorite foods to me once. That you’d rather die than eat it again.” Jumin breathed out. “You also said you’d die if you had to look at Echo Girl’s acting again after the false rumors she spread about you two getting together online…”

Zen’s eyes widened as he let out a nervous laugh, “Oh d-did I? I must’ve been joking-”

“Dont’.” Jumin said quietly. “Please don't’ lie to me… not you… anyone but you Zen.” He said softly.

Panic began to paint over Zen’s features, “What…? I-I’m not lying-”

“How long… for how long were you just saying what I wanted to hear?” Jumin asked, gritting his teeth in shame as he realized how blind he became. “How long have you done everything i’ve wanted?”

Zen was hyperventilating, shaking his head in denial as he began to tear up, “Jumin I… I just wanted you to want me… I wanted you to care about me and want to keep me-”

“I already cared about you just the way you were.” Jumin interrupted, gritting his teeth and lowering his head. “I cared about you… because you were Zen. Because if you hated something about me you told me you hated it…” Jumin felt his heart clench, “Because if you loved something you loved it with all your heart and soul, and no one could change you. No one could tame you…”

“It’s okay if i’m tamed by you Jumin, only you!” Zen tried to reason with him, “it’s fine if it’s you-”

“No, It’s not!” Jumin grit his teeth and wrapped his arms tight around Zen, pulling him into a hug.. “Why did you let me change you…? I just wanted to help you… I wanted to fix you back to the way you were before you were broken…”

Zen swallowed, his heart beating in his chest as he slowly returned the hug. “I’m still here… I’m still Zen Jumin…”

“Then where’s the man who gets on my nerves sometimes?” Jumin asked quietly. “Where’s The man who hates that i’m never out of a suit… Who only likes petty commoner food and drinks too much and smokes and drives his stupid bike recklessly and whines about my cat… Where’s the man Who loves himself just a little too much and would cancel any and all plans right on the spot for a chance to act out a fresh new role? Where’s the man who posts selfies all the time and wants to show the world just how beautiful he is every second of every day?” Jumin sobbed out, pulling away from the hug and tracing Zen’s cheek, “Where’s Zen… where’s the Zen I wanted to save?”

Zen bit his bottom lip, his heart hurting as he watched Jumin break down in front of him.

This wasn’t happening… it was just like before. It was just like his dream.

“If I had my way I would keep you locked away just for my eyes. God knowing that such a beautiful creature is mine alone drives me mad with happiness… but only because I thought you were happy to be in the cage I built for you…” Jumin said quietly. “But I know you… and I remember how you were… The real you would never be satisfied being caged by someone like me for the rest of your life… which is why I have to let you go.”

Zen felt his heart drop into the pit of his stomach. “Jumin… Jumin don’t do this-”

“V and Yoosung are going to take you back to Seven’s. You’ll be safe there with him.” Jumin said quietly.

“I don’t want to go to Seven’s, I want to stay here with you-”

“I’ll call the psychiatrist that has your file and start scheduling for you to go back. I’m also going to call your manager and have him start feeling around for other smaller roles you can do when you’re ready to go back to work.”

“Jumin…. Jumin please I’ll do anything… please.” Zen begged.

“Zen… I want to keep you here… god I do. If I could I would just forget.”

“You can. Just forget the whole thing and let’s go to bed okay? I forgive you so-”

“But I made a promise… I promised the others I would take care of you… and I promised myself that I would get you back to the way you were… that I would make you happy.”

“Jumin… please... “ He was crying freely now, “I love you… please don’t do this to me…”

Jumin leaned forward and kissed him. It was soft, chaste. It was different from any of the kisses he’d given before. When he pulled away he let out a shaky sigh.

“You don’t love me, Zen… you love the thought of me…” He breathed out. “You love what I can provide, but… That's not the kind of love I wanted from you… and that’s not the kind of love you deserve either.” He breathed out.

“Jumin…” Zen hiccuped through the tears and held him. “Jumin… Jumin-”

“You have… ten minutes to gather whatever you need… and then I will have security escort you out to Seven’s car.” He breathed out shakily. “Get going… please-”

A hard slap resounded off the walls.

Zen bit his bottom lip, his sadness turning to anguish as he stood up. “Fucking traitor.” He said, barely above a whisper as he turned and ran out of the room.

Jumin sat on the bed, the sting hitting him in a small wave as he stared at the door numbly. He shifted and got up off the bed.

The shift caused a small black velvet box to fall out of his pocket, gently clacking open and revealing a wedding ring inside.

The ring he had been picking out for weeks.

Zen’s wedding ring.

Jumin’s knees went weak and he collapsed back on the bed.

For the first time since he was a child he broke down and cried, his sobs reverberating off the empty bedroom walls as he lay alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Jumin, broken heart and all ;u;
> 
> This chapter ended up being Yoosung and V centric, sorry if it was too much. I ship them so much and there's no love for them so I had to throw in a little fluff lol. 
> 
> I'll be trying my best to update more regularly with this story, the holidays have been a bit stressful but I do love this fic a lot. I hope you'll stick with me to the end~


	8. A Time To Mend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It took five months for Zen to heal. 
> 
> Five months was all it took for everything before he healed to tumble down to dust.

It had been a month since Jumin spoke to Zen.

A month of just checking up on him from V. A month of burying himself in work and ignoring the growing rumors of him being with Sarah. A month of Assistant Kang insisting he take a vacation as he grew more worn over time.

A month, and Jumin still felt like he was dying inside.

The only thing that gave him solace, was that in that month Zen seemed to be improving. His fan page was abuzz with happy fans chatting about Zen acting again, and his social media began to bud with little trickling posts thanking everyone for waiting for him to get over his slump.

By month two, Zen’s social media went back to full on vlogs, selfies, and inspirational posts about him getting back into acting.

By month three, Zen was staring in his first major musical again, and he looked so happy in his photos on set practicing, as if he had never gone through anything traumatic in the first place.

By month four, things were back to normal with him, Jumin watching as his messages flooded the RFA chats with their previous vigor and excitement.

Zen was happy.

So why was Jumin’s heart still breaking every time he thought of him?

Jumin sighed as he sat down, staring at his empty bottle of wine with hooded eyes. He gazed down at his phone and saw Zen, Seven, Jaehee and Yoosung were in the chat.

He took a swig of his drink and clicked on.

**-Jumin Han has entered the chatroom-**

**707:** hey cat mom!

**707:** Zen look, your favorite corporate daddy is here~

**Yoosung:** Seven…

**Zen:** alright I gotta go practice my lines guys.

**-Zen has left the chatroom-**

**707:** ah… he left.

**Jaehee:** Mr. Han...

**Jumin:** It's fine, just checking in since V wants to hold another party soon.

**Yoosung:** don't be so stiff, I'm sure Zen misses you…

**Jumin:** his life is of no concern of mine anymore. If he wants to focus on work he is more than welcome to do so.

**Jaehee:** I'm sure he’ll come around… you two were so close…

**Jumin:** we shall see. If that's all then if you’ll excuse me.

**-Jumin Han has left the chatroom-**

Jumin needed another bottle of wine.

He drank until he inevitably passed out, and then buried himself in work the next day.

He did it again the day after that.

On the third day of his drunken escapades Jaehee stopped him at the end of a business conference. Pulling him to the side and fidgeting.

“Mr. Han…” she hesitated, “I know I keep asking but… are you sure you're okay?” she breathed out.

Jumin stared at her numbly. He knew he looked tired, and he knew he probably still looked as pale and sickly as he did when he looked in the mirror that morning.

“I’m fine, Assistant Kang.”

He was fine. He had to be fine.

He had to be fine for the company. For the RFA.

He had to be fine for Zen.

“A-Are you sure? Its not a critique of your work as it’s immaculate as always it’s just… you look…. I feel you should take a break-”

“Don't worry so much, Assistant Kang.” Jumin said quietly. “I've just been a bit under the weather lately. Business is more successful than it's ever been and I am satisfied with that.” he took a step toward the door, “if that is all, then I will take my leave.”

Jaehee grabbed his wrist as he turned to leave, pursing her lips. “Sir… Mr . Han… please talk to him.” she pleaded. “Zen has always been difficult with stressful situations but… I believe he still cares and just doesn't know how to approach you…”

Jumin felt his stomach churn.

Seven had told Jaehee what happened, and he knew she must have felt contempt for his actions.

How could she care for someone like him? After what he did to the man she idolized and admired?

Jumin let out a soft sigh, before tugging his wrist away, “I'll have my reports done by morning for you to review, Assistant Kang.” he said quietly, going towards the door.

“Jumin!” she called out, desperately.

Jumin stopped, turning and looking at her in shock.

He had never heard his name uttered past her lips before.

“Please… don't ruin yourself for someone else's sake… even if that someone is Zen.” she begged. “I say this… as someone who holds you in the highest respect… and someone I don't want to lose.”

Jumin’s heart clenched at that.

Jaehee continued to fidget, looking to the side and pursing her lips. “I… know it’s probably out of pity, or maybe… as an apology to me but…” She searched for the words, “When… you found out I knew about you and Zen’s relationship… Y-You helped me in more ways than you know.” she said quietly. “Allowing me to… lead a project and open up a bakery… Funding it to get it started and then letting me run it how I wanted part time… It was like a dream.” She said gently.

Jumin let out a soft sigh, “You… deserved better, Assistant Kang.” Jumin said softly. “I just felt for once… you should have a project you’d be motivated to do. The business is doing well and is pulling in a sizable amount of revenue for the company, so letting you run it as you see fit so long as you allow for the company to control the import of ingredients was something that helped both you and the company.”

Jaehee smiled and shook her head. “That…. You would do something for someone like me… Just because you wanted me to find solace and happiness… that is why you are someone I do not wish to let go of, Mr. Han.” She said quietly. “It is… a kindness that has not been shown to me in a very long time… so please promise me you will take care.” She said quietly.

Jumin was not worthy of her praise, he thought.

But he had caused her enough trouble and grief as it is, so he bit back his thoughts. He sent her a weak smile. “Thank you… your words mean a lot to me, Assistant Kang.” he said quietly, before letting out a soft sigh, “but please don't worry about me. I'm not going anywhere.”

“Do you promise?” She asked him desperately.

“I promise.” he said gently, before leaving.

He went home and couldn't even bring himself to drink, just laying in bed curled around his cat. His eyes were dull and full of apathy as he scrolled through the RFA messages, seeing the happy banter between Seven, Yoosung and Zen from earlier.

He logged off and closed his eyes.

He just wanted to sleep.

The end of the fifth month came close, and Jumin was a shell of who he once was. He was a statue in every sense of the word, only speaking when spoken to, burying himself in whatever work was offered him, and then going home to his lonely bed.

V came to visit him one morning, sitting on his couch in the recreation room with a glass of coffee.

“Jaehee says you've been doing poorly, but I didn't expect things to be this bad.” V breathed out “God Jumin you look like the walking dead…”

Jumin shook his head, “I'm fine. I have just been busy with work is all.” he mumbled out.”please don't concern yourself with me.”

V frowned, “You're never like this with work. Jumin please tell me what's wrong… is it Zen?”

Jumin stared at V, closing his eyes and letting out a tired sigh “Just… go V.” he said quietly. Usually he was good with his friend, but it was too early and his heart was still too heavy from thinking too much last night.

“Jumin please just talk to him. He won't push you away I promise…” V urged, ignoring Jumin’s pleas for him to go.

Jumin’s heart was really hurting, stress permeated him. He couldn’t take this. Not now.

“Please… I just want to go to work…” Jumin mumbled as he tried to wander past him.

V caught his arm and frowned, “No, we’re talking about it. We’re going to work through this because i’m not just gonna watch you waste away and disappear.” V stated.

Why not?

Jumin closed his eyes, he was tired, his heart ached and he just wanted to disappear.

Wait… no his heart was actually hurting… and he couldn't quite feel things well.

“I think I'm having a heart attack.” Jumin said as he stared at V.

V sighed as he touched his shoulder. “Don’t change the subject. Look I know it feels terrible now, but if you just work things out they'll get better-”

“No. V. I think I'm LITERALLY having a heart attack…” Jumin grit out before falling onto the floor, short of breath.

Vs eyes widened, and he pressed the panic button under Jumin’s desk before promptly calling an ambulance.

Really? A heart attack in his 20’s? This was how he was going to go?

Jumin smiled bitterly.

He guessed it was fine though. Going like this wasn’t so bad.

He hoped that meant Seven would have an easier time helping Zen get on his feet.

He hoped Yoosung and V worried less and focused more on each other, and their relationship they had.

He hoped Jaehee’s business went well, and she didn’t think too ill of him for breaking a promise to her.

And Zen….

No matter what he hoped Zen found happiness.

With that thought, Jumin’s world went black.

\---

For Zen, the first month was absolute torture.

He screamed at Seven every time he came in, throwing things at him and saying things in anger as he did nothing but pace in his prison

Eventually, he called in a friend to assist him. Some guy named Vanderwood he didn’t care for and wanted to lash out at just as much as Seven.

Vanderwood was much more, physically capable than Seven though, and he quickly subdued him every time.

Which is why at current, he was pinned roughly against the wall.

Zen snarled and kicked, “LET ME GO! Just let me leave!”.

Vanderwood let out an annoyed sigh, going over to Zen and restraining him. “He would do better at a professional institution Seven... Doing things Like this will take longer. Plus if I use my connections for professional help we’d have to be discreet, and that would only add on time.”

Seven frowned, “I won't let Zen's reputation go down the toilet because I couldn't protect him… I was supposed to protect everyone and I failed…”

Zen shook his head, “Jumin was protecting me… he saved me and kept me safe…” he teared up, “why did you take my prince away…”

Seven grit his teeth, bringing his hands up and gripping Zen as he ripped him from Vanderwood’s hold, “no one took him Zen, he did what he thought was best to protect you… what will ultimately be what will keep you happiest.”

Zen shook his head, “No you… you manipulated him… you made him not want me!” Zen screamed, shoving Seven back and throwing a punch only for Vanderwood to restrain him again, “Why couldn’t you just leave us alone?! We were fine!”

It had been weeks. Weeks of subduing Zen and trying to talk him into getting help on reflecting over his mistakes.

Seven had enough.

“You sit right there.” Seven said with an angry frown, storming out of his room for a minute.

When he returned he returned with a laptop. “Here. Listen.” Seven said quietly, clicking a button.

Two peoples voices filled the room.

Zen recognized them immediately.

“That’s… Jumin and V…” He said with a frown. He gave Seven a dirty look, “Why do you have this?”

“Seven sighed, “Well when I went to check on you they kept my briefcase, I was recording everything out of habit.”

“It’s not a very good habit.” Zen said with an annoyed sigh.

“Just… listen.”

_“Jumin...Remember when you first met Zen?”_

_“Yeah… He tossed his drink in my face and stormed off while Rika chased after him.”_

Zen’s eyes raised at the sudden topic and flushed in embarrassment, remembering their first meeting easily, “What, you want to rub it in my face how much of a douche I was back then?

“Just keep listening.” Seven said gently.

_“There. Right there. You had that smile on your face. I asked you why you were happy then… do you remember what you said?”_

_“I said… he was interesting. Looking someone who could literally give him anything and everything he needed to be successful in the face, calling him a spoiled brat and then basically throwing an egotistical tantrum about how he wouldn’t be owned by a corporate pig like me.”_

Zen flushed deeper, he had been a bit… abrasive yes.

_“Why was he interesting, Jumin?”_

_“Because he was the first person since you and Rika... who didn’t put on airs around me. He was the first person in so long that told me exactly how he felt about me completely, honestly, and without restraint… and he continued to do so every day after that.”_

Zen felt his heart ache.

“I already know all of this… why are you making me hear it?” Zen said through gritted teeth.

_“You followed him out to his little secret spot and invited him to the RFA party without my permission. You chased after him right after I told you more about him.”_

_“Well, you made him a member the night of the party.”_

_“Because Rika said it was a good idea. He was an aspiring actor who was compassionate and good for our cause… no… more than that… He was all those things… but he was also good for you, Jumin.”_

_“Good for me? In what way?”_

_“You opened up so much after he joined. Before he came along you were all business, just checking in on occasion to make sure plans were going well with the next party and then logging off immediately afterward. When you started shit posting and teasing him everyone thought that it was the end of the world. Jumin Han, playing coy. Jumin han getting into little squabbles. Jumin han flirting unashamed just to get a rise out of the new member.”_

Zen’s heart skipped a beat.

Jumin hadn’t always been a shitposting Jerk? He had changed because of him? Zen couldn’t imagine Jumin any other way.

_“I mean yes… you know I was attracted to Zen for a while before I had to accept I… wasn’t his type.You know better than anyone that I care deeply for him.”_

Zen couldn't believe his ears.

Just how long had Jumin felt this way…? They knew each other for years… How had Jumin’s feelings gone so long without him knowing them?

Zen thought Jumin had fallen for him sometime during the first week he started living with him. He thought Jumin’s confession in the shower meant he had just wanted to be friends that whole time but didn’t know how to be.

Deeper feelings though? How was Jumin able to stand the way he was treated all those years feeling like that?

_“You cared about him because of who he was… but what about now? Can you really say you care about him just as much now?”_

_“I don’t… understand.”_

_“Is the Zen now the same Zen you care about? Is he the same honest Zen you told me you respected and cherished for his honesty? The same free, independant man you told me you could trust to always tell you the truth as it is, and not just say what you want to hear?”_

Zen felt his heart clench.

When was the last time he was honest with Jumin? When was the last time he hadn’t thought about things like what the best answer would be instead of being honest? He had been so scared. He had been so worried Jumin would abandon him if he didn’t appease him.

To think he didn’t have to manipulate Jumin’s vision of him like that… it broke his heart.

_“Do you remember what you told me a few months ago when I came over with everyone? You said it was like he was broken… it was like Zen was still in there, but the pieces you liked the most were fragmented, and that you wanted to make him Zen again… Do you think the person sitting in that other room is the Zen you wanted to see? Is he the Zen you wanted to salvage?”_

“Stop the fucking tape… just stop it…” Zen said quietly, tearing up. “I get it okay? God…”

He couldn't’ take the shame.

Seven let out an apologetic sound, before clicking pause. “I’m sorry Zen… Really I am-”

“You don’t have to be…” Zen said quietly.

He made a mistake.

Why was he always so wrong with judging how Jumin truly felt?

He thought he needed to be that way for Jumin to accept him, for Jumin to protect him. He thought it was best for both of them.

But… Jumin would’ve helped him no matter what…

He didn't want to betray that ever again.

“Fix me…” Zen said quietly. “Seven I'm sorry… I know it's hard… I know I've been difficult but… I want help. I want to be me again…”

He would make Jumin proud…

No… he would make himself proud. He would be the person he had been proud to be. The person who was loved just by being himself.

Seven smiled at that, “Alrighty… We’ll start with the basics. One step at a time. Right Vanderwood?”

Vanderwood sighed and slumped back, “Sure. Let me just make some calls.”

So Zen worked. He went to therapy, forced himself to go outside with Yoosung and Seven, went out to gyms away from the complex on his bike.

Slowly he was able to start going out on his own, and gradually still he was able to actually start enjoying it.

By the end of the month, he was already booked for an acting job.

By the second month, Zen was able to start vlogging and taking selfies again. He had gotten back into perfect shape, and people were happily retweeting his life once more.

It felt good.

By the third month, he had acted in his first major musical since his kidnapping.

The elation he felt couldn’t be described.

He was king of the world again.

He was proud of himself again.

He was in love with his life again.

But… there was something missing now. Something he was scared to fix.

“Zen…” Yoosung said worriedly, “When are you gonna talk to Jumin? I’m sure he misses you.”

Zen smiled nervously before glancing to the side, “I-It’s just not the best time y’know? I want to focus on work. It’s good to have some space I think so we can both get back into the groove of things.”

That was a lie.

Zen felt anxious, the thought of talking to Jumin, of going up to the man he had deceived and taken advantage of made him so apprehensive it hurt. He remembered the pain in Jumin’s eyes, in his voice as he tried to explain himself.

That heartbreak when he hit him.

He couldn’t face it.

His body and heart still contradicted that, however. When night would fall Jumin was all he would think about. He was all he could see. That loving smile, those soft hands on him, the way he had learned every last way to drive Zen crazy was burned into heart and soul.

At first he cried, every night he was without Jumin to warm his bed.

Now he settled with fantisies of the man completing him.

The fourth and fifth months only got worse. Zen couldn’t hear Jumin’s name without his heart twinging in longing, and he couldn’t go a night without picturing the man holding him, loving him, wanting him.

He was so scared Jumin had forgotten about him, that he didn’t want that kind of relationship anymore after what he did. Even if Jumin did want to try again Zen felt ashamed, felt like he wasn’t worthy of trying again.

He could only run away.

Until the end of the fifth month.

He woke up late one morning, lethargic and tired from touching himself late into the night. Having nowhere to go. He checked his phone, missed calls from all the RFA members.

All but Jumin.

He didn’t want to talk with them. He tossed his phone on the nightstand and grabbed Seven’s remote, clicking on the TV in the room he’d called home.

CORPORATE HEIR IN CRITICAL CONDITION DUE TO HEART FAILURE.

Zen’s eyes widened as he stared at the giant letters on the TV screen.

What…?

The reporter began talking.

“Jumin Han, Heir to a multi-billion dollar export company had what appears to be a heart attack today. Rushed to the hospital early this morning, he is still in critical condition due to an unknown heart problem. A tip from one of the doctors at the scene say they are vexed as to the cause, and are working diligently to find it so they may properly treat the corporate heir and bring him out of this delicate state-”

Zen turned the TV off, got up and got dressed before calling Seven.

Seven answered, “God dude there you are, we’ve been trying to reach you-”

“What hospital is he at?” Zen ordered as he ran down the stairs.

Seven sputtered, “Oh uh… I texted it to your phone a while ago-”

“Kay, I’m borrowing one of your cars.” Zen said quickly before hanging up, barely hearing Seven’s squawked out ‘WHAT?!’ as he slid into a cherry red convertible and drove out of the garage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol I spent forever trying to get two separate chapters to the length of the other ones, and finally said "Screw it and put them together.
> 
> Zen's getting better, but Jumin's getting worse. Bad breakups effect people in different ways, especially if neither of them wanted it. ;u;


	9. Breaking Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zen and Jumin have a heart to heart, and they define what they want for the days to come.

“Zen, what about the interview you said you were going to have with the press about Echo Girl?! If you run from that then it’ll only fuel the scandal accusations!” Zen’s manager bellowed at him. “You also have rehearsals this afternoon for the musical, the first show is in a week and you need to hold onto this job!”

Zen frowned as he pulled up to the hospital. “I told you it’s an emergency. The press can fucking wait, and I’ll make up any practice I miss on my own time.” He said as he slammed the door to Seven’s car and pocketed the keys. “Just keep any vultures off my back for a little longer, I promise I’ll figure things out soon.” and with that Zen hung up, leaving no room for his manager to talk.

He had been on the bad end of publicity lately with Echo Girl slinging accusations at him.  He refused to date her while they did his current musical together and she turned told the press his hiatus was spent trying to take advantage of her. He had so much negative attention he was surprised the director hadn’t sacked him yet. Still he was grateful for the opportunity, and it warmed his heart that his fans were supportive as the staff.

His life was a whirlwind, but right now his career and that rotten girl could wait.

When Zen got into the hospital, he was met with reporters. Dozens of them flooded the lounge of the hospital as they asked about Jumin's condition. It annoyed Zen. Burdening the people who were trying to save lives and care for the ill. Still Zen could hear the stories they were printing and he didn't like what he heard.

“They're saying it's heartbreak. Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy, or Broken-Heart Syndrome is almost unheard of in men, but the young corporate heir has it without a doubt. An irregularity caused by heavy bouts of stress and depression, this condition is usually brought about by extreme cases of heartbreak hence the other name for the condition.”

Zen's heart stung as he mulled the information over in his head. Jumin had been stressed? Depressed even?

Jumin Han had possibly been so heartbroken over him that he had gotten sick?

“God… ngh… move!” Zen wormed his way to the elevator, managing to bypass the rabble of people and go toward the room Seven had texted him to go to.

He had to see Jumin. If this was his fault he had to reassure him he didn’t need to stress.

“Finally… almost there.” Zen said as he followed the twists and turns of the intensive care ward, turning the corner to the hallway that held Jumin’s room.

He was met by quite the sight.

A young woman with an hourglass figure and orchid pink hair was arguing with guards posted at the front of Jumin’s room, a pack of journalists behind her.

“As his fiancée I should go and see him!” the woman bellowed. “Don't you get it? His heart has been breaking because work has kept us apart. He needs me!”

Fiancée. Oh.

Sarah.

This was the woman Jumin had been agonizing over when they were together. The one who his father was pushing him to marry.

Sarah glanced his direction, and she did a double take. Her eyes going wide and her cheeks flushing. It was a look Zen had seen countless times.

“Oh my… are you Jumin’s friend?” she asked shyly, slinking toward him with hooded eyes.

Zen eyed her warily. “Something like that. Can I help you?”

Zen was trying to be polite. He didn't want to cause a scene with all the reporters around, but the way she was looking at him was unsettling.

“Well… I'm waiting for these muscle head bodyguards to let me in to see my beloved fiancée. I wish to see him dearly.” She said with a slight whine to her voice.

Zen pouted. “Miss Sarah… yes? Maybe you should just wait till he's okay the hero see visitors-”

Suddenly there was as hand snaking around his waist, a palm caressing his rear.

“it's made me so sad…” Sarah whispered in his ear. “perhaps a strapping young man like you could console me? I’m sure with how much my Jumin has I could reward you handsomely as well after we marry.”

Zen felt his stomach turn.

How could this woman speak of love, and then blatantly hit on him like this?

“I'm sorry. I don't much like being hit on by two timers.” Zen said quietly as to not catch the ear of the reporters. She gaped at him and He stepped away from her and walked up to the bodyguard. “I don't suppose I can go in to see Jumin?”

The bodyguard nodded. “You're Hyun Ryu yes? I recognize you from the penthouse. Jumin’s… close friend.”

Zen flushed shyly “Y-yeah…” he mumbled. He had no doubt with how loud they had been everyone who watched that house knew how much of a “close friend” he was to Jumin.

“You're on the list of people Assistant Kang had allowed to visit, so please go ahead.”

Zen nodded, slipping into the room and quickly closing the door as Sarah began to rant at the bodyguard at the door.

“God what a bitch.” Zen said quietly, before turning to look at Jumin.

What he saw broke his heart.

Jumin was pale, skin looking translucent and paper white. His eyes were sunken with dark circles, and the heir had lost a significant amount of weight. If not for the even rise and fall of his chest Zen would’ve thought he was looking at a corpse.

“Jumin?” Zen breathed out hesitantly. “are you asleep?”

Jumin stirred, and opened his eyes. He stared around the room in a bleary stupor be for his eyes landed on Zen.

“have I died and gone to heaven…” Jumin slurred out weakly. “seeing you there like an angel at my bed… I've missed you so much I must be either dreaming or have passed on.”

Zen’s heart ached. Jumin sounded drunk, probably a side effect of whatever medications he was on. He walked over and sat in the edge of the bed as he stared at Jumin in his delirious state. “I'm real Jumin… I came because I heard what happened…”

Jumin let out a bitter chuckle as he closed his eyes, “Then this is a nightmare. I never wanted you to see me like this…” Jumin murmured out, tossing his head to the side as he looked around the room dizzily. “I’ll only become a burden to you being yourself again…”

Zen raised a brow as he stared at Jumin, “Burden to being myself… Jumin what are you talking about? I’ve just been busy-”

“Busy… no I know you when you’re busy... “ Jumin’s hand shook as he gripped the bed, his eyes unfocusing as he failed to gaze at anything in particular, “You’re happier without me tying you down… without me clipping your wings and holding you back.” Jumin let out a shaky breath as tears welled in his eyes. “You would be better off if I wasn’t here… if I didn’t exist in this world… oh god why didn’t I die-”

“Jumin stop… god whatever drugs they have you on right now must be fucking with your head.” Zen said quietly, bringing a hand up and stroking Jumin’s cheek. “You didn’t… do anything wrong, Jumin… what happened wasn’t your fault. Our situation got messed up…”

“It got messed up because I let it get messed up… because I thought I knew what you needed and I was wrong…” Jumin choked out, tears falling freely from his eyes as he sobbed. “I just wanted you to be happy… and you were happiest when you left... “

“Jumin…” Zen hesitated, before kicking off his shoes and scooting onto the small hospital bed with him. “I’ve missed you so much it hurts you idiot.” Zen whispered out, tearing up as he nuzzled Jumin’s chin. “I was just… ashamed.” he forced out, his heart stinging like a million needles were piercing him. “I took advantage of your kindness because I was scared… I lied because I didn’t trust you would keep me… How was I supposed to face you after doing that to you?”

Jumin gazed down at him, “Zen… but you were doing so well without me. You were-”

“I forced myself to do well for me, because I knew deep down that's what I needed… what you had been trying to do when you helped me… but God it was torture.” Zen settled on the bed, draping an arm over Jumin  as he sniffled back his tears, “I wanted to run back into your arms so many times… and even when that urge to be protected went away, I still wanted to see you… I just didn’t know how to approach you.”

Jumin grew quiet, before hesitantly returning the small embrace. “Is… being with me really what you still wanted…? You’re not just saying that out of pity?”

Zen shook his head, “Never. I won’t ever lie to you again Jumin…” Zen leaned close and kissed his forehead, “Those are my honest feelings… and you spent so long taking care of me… trying to save me…” Zen smiled weakly as he pressed their foreheads together, “Let me save you for a change…”

Jumin flushed warmly at that, holding Zen weakly as he leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth.

Zen’s heart fluttered at the small bit of contact, and he pressed in for a proper kiss. Their lips slotted together gently and innocently, as if they were exploring each other for the first time.

Jumin exhaled softly as he pulled away, kissing Zen’s nose as he settled in bed. “I know its sudden but… if it’s not too much trouble…” Jumin clenched his teeth, trying to formulate his words past his medicated stupor “Would you be willing to stay here with me tonight? Please?”

Zen smiled, tucking his head under Jumin’s chin and allowing the little butterflies in his stomach to flutter around as he nuzzled him, “Yeah… I’ll stay the night. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do when you wake up anyway.”

Jumin smiled warmly, settling his arms gently around Zen, “I would like that yes… when we wake.”

Jumin sounded exhausted. To be honest Zen was tired too from all the bullshit today.

“Let’s get some rest mm?” Zen said quietly, kissing Jumin’s chin as he let his long hair down. “When we wake up… we’ll have more time to talk.”

Yes they would.

They had all the time in the world.

“I’d like that.” Jumin murmured out, getting comfortable as they tangled up together under the covers.

So the two dozed off together in an innocent embrace. Throughout the day V and the rest of the RFA had come to visit, but after seeing their two friends cuddled up so sweetly they thought it best to come back later.

Their rest was a peaceful one.

At least it was, until the two were woken by a shrill shriek.

Zen jolted from the noise, Jumin letting out an annoyed groan as his eyes slid open. The two looked over to the door.

Sarah was standing in the room, looking between Zen and Jumin in anger. Jumin’s father and Glam Choi standing at the door gaping in shock at the scene with reporters snapping pictures and pouring into the room.

A reporter boldly stepped forward, “Young Corporate Heir Jumin Han, can you please explain in detail what’s going on? Who is this man in your hospital bed-”

Another reporter interrupted as she flooded in with her camera crew, “You’re aspiring actor Zen are it not? The one who was rumored to be in a scandal with Echo Girl despite denial of the accusations. Can you comment on your relationship status now Zen?”

A journalist came in with a recorder, shoving past the two, “Jumin Han, there was a report Echo Girl made about you being gay in the past, is this report actually true?”

“DOES JUMIN HAN IS GAY?!” A foreign looking reporter from the back shouted out.

The first reporter that spoke shoved the other one out of the way, “Is this why things have been rough between you and your fiancee Sarah? Was this stress not because of being separated from her as she claimed and because you were balancing two relationships?”

Zen’s heart hammered in his chest.

Holy shit this was NOT how he wanted his meeting with Jumin to go. He had enough negative publicity on him right now and he didn’t need it to bleed into Jumin’s life. He glanced up at Jumin.

Surprisingly, the man looked eerily calm. Sleepy and slightly annoyed, but calm.

“If you would all be silent and allow me to speak…” Jumin said, his voice quiet but full of authority. “Then we will tell you all we are willing to say on the matter.”

Well at least he was lucid now as opposed to the drug induced babbling he had been subject to earlier. Zen thought.

The reporters quieted, and the corporate heir let out a sigh.

“Because… this has to do with my friends personal life as well… I wish for him to define this relationship first… then and only then will I give my thoughts and feelings on it.” Jumin stared down at Zen supportively.

Zen’s heart fluttered.

Jumin was stepping down from the authoritative role, and allowing Zen to define exactly what they were. He was letting Zen say whatever he wanted on the matter and letting that be that. He could tell the world they were lovers, he could tell them Jumin had taken advantage of him, he could tell them anything he wanted and he knew Jumin would back him on whatever Zen saw as the truth of their relationship.

There was so much trust and acceptance in Jumin’s eyes, that Zen had a hard time breathing.

“Then…” one of the reporters dared to ask, “Could you talk to us, Zen… could you tell us what your relationship to Mr. Han’s son is?”

Zen looked at the reporters, his eyes flickering to the enraged faces of Glam Choi and Sarah, and then up to the poker face that was Chairman Han as he was eyed almost analytically.

Fuck it, Zen thought.

“I…Jumin and I have been acquaintances for many years. We met under the same friend, a photographer that goes by the pseudonym V.” Zen said quietly.

The reporters murmured to themselves, recognition sparking on some of their faces. Mr Han’s eyebrow raised in surprise.

Zen continued, clearing his throat. “I… about um… this…” Zen looked at Jumin, who squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. “I… had been going through something extremely personal, and Jumin reached out to me.” Zen paused. “He helped me and… over the course of it we became close… and we started a romantic relationship-”

The rabble started up again, loud and filled with questions on how long had they been dating, questions about his fiancee and the Echo Girl scandal, where they planned to go from here.

“SILENCE.” A voice boomed out.

It was Chairman Han.

“Zen, was it?” The chairman said quietly, “Please continue.”

Zen swallowed, nodding slightly. Jumin’s arms wrapped around him in comfort, and Zen found the strength to continue.

“I was… Yes it was romantic. There was nothing platonic about us for a few months... but…” Zen looked up at Jumin, gazing into his eyes as he brought a hand up to his cheek, “but our relationship wasn’t healthy.” Zen said quietly, pressing his forehead against Jumin’s, “I wasn’t myself after my personal issues, and Jumin and I were dealing with my problems in all the wrong ways... “ Zen let out a shaky sigh, “So… Jumin broke it off so I could get back on my feet.”

“Was this the reason for the five month hiatus you took from work, Zen? It wasn’t because you were having an on and off affair with Echo Girl?”

“Yes. It’s true.” Zen replied.

“Do you have proof of this?” Another reporter asked.

Zen glanced up at Jumin, who let out a long sigh.

“If Zen wishes it” Jumin said with a frown, “I can give security footage of my home. Zen lived with me for about three months and was there the majority of the time-frame mentioned… if not the whole time. I guarantee you anyone who sees just how much time he spent there would know he wouldn’t have had time for the outlandish escapades Miss Kyungju has accused him of.” Jumin held Zen possessively. “If she pushes this farce any more and i’m forced to release the tapes, I assure you I will most likely press charges for the slander she has brought to my friend’s good name.”

Zen flushed shyly, “J-Jumin…” he felt a smile coming on.

The questioning reporters began to scramble for questions, but Jumin stopped them with a raise of his hand, “Please, allow Zen to continue before questions.”

Silence fell in the room again, and Zen continued.

“These past five months… I was getting back on my feet on my own.” Zen started up again. “I learned to stand on my own two feet without Jumin holding my hand, because he knew that’s what I needed.” Zen leaned slightly against Jumin, “In those five months though… I never forgot that kindness Jumin showed me. I never forgot our time together, and was ashamed I couldn’t be the man I wanted to be for him during the time we had been intimate. That drove me to stay away from him... “

Jumin’s hands gripped Zen a little harder, a distant look appearing on his face.

Zen smiled sadly at him, “Had I known what being apart was doing to him… I would’ve told him just how much I missed him…” Zen tilted Jumin’s head down, “I would’ve told him what he meant to me because of that selflessness he’s had for me since we met…”

Jumin’s eyes widened, and he let out a shaky exhale at his words. “Zen…” He breathed out.

Zen’s smile turned warm, “I came here… wanting to make sure he was okay. After hearing what he thought and why he was so stressed I wanted him to know that I still care. That I still want to be in his life however he wants me to be.” Zen flushed and glanced down, “and… if he would… still have me I wouldn’t mind starting over-”

“That’s NOT going to happen!” Sarah shrieked out. “I am his Fiancee, you can’t-”

“Sarah. I never wanted to marry you.” Jumin said with a frown. “You were forced on me, pursued me relentlessly despite me wanting nothing to do with you, and the only thing you have brought me since coming into my life is grief.” Jumin pulled Zen close. “I have never, and will never feel anything but contempt at the idea of marrying you. Let that be known to the world.”

The crowd roared to life again, some swarming Sarah with questions on why she spread so many stories about their life together and the engagement.

Sarah trembled, letting out an angry scream of frustration before storming out.

Glam glared up at Chairman Han, “Honey say something to your son about this illicit relationship! He’s the heir to your company for god’s sake!”

The reporters quieted as they looked at Mr Han expectantly.

The Chairman looked over to Jumin. “Do you love this man?” he asked pointedly.

Jumin kept his father’s stare for a moment, before letting out a shaky sigh.

“I do.” Jumin said quietly.

“To what extent do you love him?” the chairman continued.

“I would do anything for him.” Jumin said quietly. “Seeing him want for nothing has been my desire for as long as I can remember knowing him…” Jumin pursed his lips, “Being apart from him brings me such pain I don’t know if I’ll be able to live without him, but… if he wishes to be apart from me I’d give that too because seeing him happy… is all I want.”

The Chairman grew quiet for a moment, before looking down at Zen, “Zen… what do you want from my son?”

Zen bit his bottom lip, before looking up at Jumin timidly, “If… Jumin is being honest then… I want to start over with him.” Zen said quietly. “I want to do things right this time. I want to date… I want to get to know him better and let him get to know me better… I want to make time for all the things I should’ve made time for when we were first together.”

Jumin flushed slightly at those words, and nodded, “If that’s what you want then I want to give you that… no… I want it as well.” Jumin said quietly. “Hearing you say that when it’s what i’ve wanted for so long… I… it would be my honor to court you properly.”

Chairman Han closed his eyes and nodded. “Everybody out. That’s all the questions they will be receiving. Don’t make me get my bodyguards.”

The rabble of people left, as did Glam in a rage at the chairman not doing anything. Mr. Han waited for everyone to leave before closing the door and sighing.

Jumin noticed the sigh and pouted, “If you have something to say about me breaking it off with Zen I won’t hear it-”

“No that’s not it.” Mr. Han interrupted quickly. “Jumin… I apologize for the grief I must have caused you with the arranged marriage… I hadn’t realized you had someone in your life… though i can see why you hid it so long.” Mr. Han said quietly as he stared at Zen.

Zen fidgeted slightly, tucking a strand of his long hair behind his ear before turning his bright eyes shyly toward Jumin’s father.

Mr. Han stammered and cleared his throat as he crossed his arms, “I can also see why you fell for him, he’s beautiful.”

Jumin frowned and held Zen protectively.

Mr. Han noticed and chuckled, “Beautiful… and it’s written all over the two of you how much he loves you, and you love him.” he said with a smile. “I hope you make each other very happy.”

Zen’s eyes brightened, and he got up out of the bed, going over and pulling Mr. Han into a hug, “Thank you so much Mr. Chairman Han Sir! Thank you…” Zen teared up, “Thank you…”

Jumin smiled warmly then, closing his eyes and letting out a soft sigh. “Thank you father…”

For the first time in the eight months he and Zen had been doing this strange dance, Jumin knew for certain what steps he wanted to take with him.

They would start over, and he would do things right this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> urgh, okay guys lol. Sorry for the long wait but I am now free from stress and had the time to finally type this up at the speed of sound (Not beta read, so sorry if it's not as good as previous chapters.)
> 
> Now that I can BREATHE (freaking early december... I'm sure with finals and stuff everyone can relate) things will fall back to normal update times, though we're getting close to the end ;u;. 
> 
> It's been a heck of a ride, and I thank everyone who decided to stay with me this long. Hope you enjoy this till the end~


	10. Prism Lights

The course of the next week was a strenuous one. Media had blown up about Zen and Jumin, and after a falling out with Glam Choi because of the chairman’s blatant refusal to marry off his son her hidden agenda was found out. Her and Sarah were being sued for fraud, and Echo Girl was now dealing with the media blowback for lying about an illicit relationship with Zen.

As for Zen and Jumin, media had been surprisingly supportive of them. On Jumin’s side it hadn’t really affected his work at all, and there were even people who were partnered with his company who were happy he was seeing someone finally.

Zen, on the other hand… had a surprising blowup from his recently found out relationship.

“Holy crap they’re writing fanfics.” Zen mused, flushing deeply as he saw the flood of them on his fanpage. “I thought I would lose popularity after I started dating but… It looks like my popularity has skyrocketed instead…” Zen said quietly as he sat amongst his RFA members in Seven’s bunker.

Jaehee flushed as she looked at photoshopped pictures of the couple in… compromising positions. “I do feel a few of the rumors are exaggerated, but…” Jaehee fidgeted shyly, “It’s… nice to see so many people being supportive.” 

“ ‘Perhaps Zen and Jumin have wild crazy sex every night…’ “ Yoosung flushed pink as he got off the site, “Jeez… I-I mean some of these posts… these fans have quite the imagination…”

V chuckled, “Yre you shy, Yoosung? Well even if they have imaginations at least they’re supportive.” 

Zen chuckled, “Besides… once upon a time it’s not like they were wrong…”

Jumin choked on his wine, before clearing his throat, “Yes well… we’re taking it slow this time… D-Dating first and all that.” Jumin murmured out.

“Yes.” Jaehee said with a smile, “Speaking of which… I do believe the car is ready for you two.” 

Jumin nodded, bidding farewell to the rest of the RFA before walking out with Zen.

The two of them had been talking, going to little places here and there with the rest of the RFA in order to slowly get back into the groove of being in each other's company in a less intimate setting. Two months of coffee shop dates, movies, sleepovers at Seven’s and vacation trips with them all together.

Today, however; it was all about them. 

Zen and Jumin had a two stage date planned, Jumin would take Zen out on a date his way, and Zen would then take him on a date spot of his choice after. It was meant to solidify their relationship officially.

This would’ve been perfect if the two weren’t nervous as hell. Which is why the start of Jumin’s date was less than smooth.

The two of them sat at the fancy restaurant awkwardly. It was uncomfortable. This was the first time they had been in an intimate setting since Zen had been forced out of Jumin’s penthouse. 

The waiter came and asked for their orders, and Jumin hummed. “I do believe I’ll have your seared salmon salad, as a starting dish, For my lovely partner here, I think Fois Gras would be perfect-”

“Um...no.” Zen interrupted.

Jumin raised a brow, “No?”

“Zen pouted, staring to the side awkwardly.” Not a fan of weird food like that… ah- no offense waiter.” He said with a nervous laugh as they skimmed the menu. “M… ah- they have Beyti here?” Zen’s face lit up. 

The waiter nodded, “Yes, our lamb is quite tender. It is different from the street food of the same name, but if you enjoy what is commonly known as Beyti then I am sure you will enjoy it.”

Zen nodded happily. “Yes, I’ll have that.”

Jumin raised a brow, “You’d order commoner food at a gourmet restaurant?”

Zen pouted. “It’s what I want to eat. You said I could have whatever I wanted.” 

Jumin let out a sigh, “I did say that yes. Very well, can I also have a bottle of your finest champagne-”

“Beer for me.” Zen interrupted. “Nothing goes better with lamb than beer~”

Jumin brought his hand to his temple, rubbing it, “A...glass of your finest champagne then.” 

The waiter looked between them nervously, before scribbling down their orders and hurrying off.

Jumin let out a small groan as he sipped his water. “You’re insufferable.”

Zen crossed his arms and glanced to the side, “Yeah well you’re a controlling jerk. I wanna eat what I wanna eat okay?”

Jumin gazed at Zen for a moment, taking in his pouting lips and the shy flush on his face. He flicked up to Zen’s eyes, which were shining bright with defiance. 

Everything about him was so...Zen.

Jumin let out a chuckle, leaning back in his chair, “A controlling jerk hm? ...Yes, I suppose I am.” he said with a warm smile.

Zen turned to look at him, and after a moment returned the smile, “Yeah…” He chuckled, “Though I guess I can be pretty pushy with you sometimes.”

“All the time.” Jumin corrected.

“Always.” Zen agreed, “That’s just who I am. I’m the perfect man after all. You can’t fix perfection~” he said with a toothy grin.

Jumin’s smile widened, and he brought a hand out, placing it over Zen’s gently. “Perfection.” He breathed out. “Yes… you’re perfect just how you are.”

Zen flushed at that, entwining their fingers as he sent Jumin a shy look, “You’re… not so bad yourself, Jumin.” 

When the nervous waiter came back with their food, he was surprised to find the two men who were bristling at each other earlier were now eyeing each other warmly while holding hands over the table. He cleared his throat and let out a relieved sigh, “Your food, sirs.”

So they ate, mostly in silence but occasionally stealing shy glances at each other. 

Zen felt like a teenager with his first love, all heartbeats and shy stares. 

Jumin too, felt his heart going aflutter. It was different from when they had become close before. Strange and new feelings that made him happy all the same.

When they were done with their meal and got up to leave, Zen hesitantly reached out and took Jumin’s hand, looking up at him shyly, “Th-this is okay yeah?” 

Jumin smiled warmly, entwining their fingers, “of course…” he responded.

Zen smiled, and the two of them walked hand and hand outside to the parking lot.

“My driver is still out… I’ll call us a car then-”

“No cars.” Zen said quickly, walking over to a motorcycle parked on the side of the road. “It’s time for my half of the date, and we’re taking my baby today.”

Jumin raised a brow, “By baby i assume you mean this motorbike?”

Zen smiled warmly as he hopped up onto his bike. “C’mon.” He said with a chuckle. “It’s time for me to do something for you.”

Jumin stared at the bike like it was going to bite him, frowning a bit. “Didn’t you tell me you stopped biking regularly because you got into an accident?”

Zen scoffed. “Shut up and get on the damn bike Jumin. Or are you scared?”

Jumin frowned. “I don’t understand why contemplating my chances of surviving on your death machine means I have to be ridiculed…” Despite his quips, Jumin got on the bike behind Zen, putting on the helmet given to him and wrapping his arms around his waist. 

Zen chuckled, “Alright babe, hold on~” He said with a small howl, before darting off onto the road.

The two of them darted off into the night

Jumin smiled as he closed his eyes, enjoying the wind whipping around him and the warmth of Zen’s body as he let the sound of the roaring engine and the view of city lights take him.

After a few moments, the two stopped at a music theater in a middle class district. Jumin raised a brow, “I don’t think they’ll be selling tickets for any shows… they’ve probably already started.” Jumin commented.

“That’s fine, c’mon.” Zen said quiety as he climbed up the side of the building, “I made little footholds so its easy to climb.” He said with a chuckle, before slipping inside an open window.

Jumin’s eyes shot open, “Are we breaking in?! We can’t do that!” Jumin hissed out. “Zen!” he called out. When there was no answer, he clicked his tongue, before climbing up the dilapidated side of the building.

When Jumin got inside, his breath caught.in his throat.

They were in a small alcove, high over the audience and with a perfect view of the play below. Zen was sitting in a bean bag next to a low rise table, which had some wine chilling in some ice. 

“I’d light a candle, but just because we’re high enough not to be heard doesn’t mean we need to be seen.” Zen said with a chuckle.

“What if someone walks up here?” Jumin said with a small sigh as he walked over and sat on the bean-bag chair next to Zen.

“Relax, I’ve done jobs at this theater.” Zen said quietly as he poured himself a glass of wine. “When it was in development the architect gave the wrong building design and the builders made a mistake and sealed this alcove off. The owner of the building didn’t feel like getting it fixed so the only way in is through that window. And only me and a few of the directors know about it.”

Jumin raised a brow, “So… We’re alone up here? To watch the show?’

Zen nodded, “Just you and me tonight. Figured since you did dinner, I could give a show.’

Jumin watched the actors on the stage, their microphones allowing them to be heard even from the high alcove. ‘I have to say… you did good for once.”

“I always do good, Trust-Fund Jerk.” Zen shot back.

“Sure you do, Egotistical child.”

“Crazy cat mom.”

“Narcissus.” 

“Corporate dick.”

“I’ll take that last one as a compliment, as both my corporation and my dick are quite large.”

Zen laughed, and Jumin followed, their laughter echoing throughout the small space.

“Hey…” Zen murmured out, leaning against Jumin’s shoulder, “I love this part. Watch.” He said with a smile.

Jumin wrapped an arm around Zen, watching as his red eyes glimmered in excitement as the two actors danced, the intricacy of their moves reflected on his eyes.

“I’m watching…” Jumin responded. 

What he saw was beautiful.

When the act ended, Zen smiled and wrapped his arms around Jumin, “Thanks for coming up here with me. I know it’s not some fancy pants restaurant or a resort or anything but… I wanted to share this spot with you.” He said with a smile.

Jumin stared at Zen with a warm smile, “no… I had fun tonight, really I did.” He returned the hug as he leaned back. “I got to experience an atmosphere I’ve never experienced in all my years of living, and it was fun… and I got to experience it with you at the happiest i’ve seen you. For me that’s all I could’ve ever wanted.”

Zen flushed pink at that, shifting his weight more on Jumin and straddling his hips. 

“Jumin…” He breathed out slightly, “You said… heh…” He shifted slightly, “You’ve liked me for a long time... “ He said with a smile, stroking Jumin’s cheek fondly “How long… have you had feelings for me?” he said quietly.

Jumin searched Zen’s eyes, getting lost in them. “I found you interesting from the moment I met you. From the moment I chased you up those mountains after you ran.” He said with a laugh, growing quiet as he returned Zen’s gaze. “I found you captivating since I invited you to your first RFA party, having to convince you over and over to come…” he admitted easily. “And… I’ve loved you since I saw you shine in your white suit and the brilliant way you draw everyone to you… blinding everyone with your brilliance just as you blinded me, and doing so without money or power or fame… but by just being who you are..” he said quietly. 

Zen’s heart began to race. He leaned close to Jumin and nuzzled his cheek. “Love at first sight… heh… part of me wants to call you a liar with the shitty way I treated you all these years.”

Jumin shook his head, “I told you, it’s alright that you treated me that way… because those feelings were real… even if you never wanted to be near me I wanted to give you everything you were willing to accept… Just as thanks for showing me a truly beautiful human being… One that I could trust completely.”

Zen’s eyes hooded, and he leaned forward, “God why couldn’t I see how good you were Jumin… Why did it take me years to see it.” He breathed out.

Then they were kissing, Zen pressing their lips together needily. They made out under the warm light filtering in from the stage with the soft music playing around them. The kiss was perfect and full of love and affection and between two people who meant the world to each other.

Just like their first kiss should’ve been.

“Zen…” Jumin breathed out, his heartbeat quickening as the platinum blonde rocked his hips. “We’re in a public place… Doing such things here would be-”

“Indecent I know, you fucking wet blanket.” Zen said with a smirk. “But no one knows about this little area but me… and no one can see us in the dark baby…” He purred out, tossing off his shirt.

“Still… it’s innapropriate-”

“Right now I want to fucking ride you Jumin.” Zen said quietly, his voice dripping with want that made Jumin’s cock jump in his pants. “Don’t tell me daddy didn’t miss me…”

This was the Zen he loved. 

The Zen who did what he wanted, said what he wanted, and wouldn’t do anything he didn’t want to do.The Zen who was full of pride, who loved himself too much and got the world to love him just the way he was. 

Jumin wanted to give Zen things that he genuinely wanted, take him places that would make him genuinely happy. He wanted to give and give and give, and take whatever Zen wanted to give him back in return, and nothing more.

That’s the man he wanted to be for Zen since they met.

“I missed you… of course I did lover.” Jumin said with a warm smile. “If this is what you truly want then… I’ll let you take the reigns.”

Zen smirked playfully as he stripped Jumin down and shrugged his jacket and shirt off in one swift motion. 

“Y’know…” Zen murmured against Jumin’s cheek before kissing it, “I’ve been excited to be with you like this for a while…” He kissed down Jumin’s neck as he undid the older man’s belt and pulled his half hard shaft out of his pants. “I’m grateful we’ve been taking things slow… really it means so much but… I want to give myself to you again.” Zen pumped him to hardness, “I’m… ashamed that I gave you a lie before…” Zen leaned back slightly before stripping himself down completely, “Now… I want you to have the real me.”

Jumin flushed, “Zen…” Jumin stroked Zen’s cheek, “I’d say the same to you… but there’s really no point in it is there?” Jumin said with a warm smile, “You’ve had me for so long… I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t yours.” 

Zen chuckled and settled atop him, kissing Jumin’s forehead. “Then it’s time for me to return the sentiment.” He said as he positioned himself over Jumin’s shaft. 

Jumin’s eyes shot open, “Z-Zen wait I haven’t prepped you or gotten any lubricant or-” 

Suddenly, a very warm, very wet heat surrounded him, and Jumin had to bite back a groan.

Zen flushed warmly as he settled on Jumin’s shaft, “Why do you think I was in the bathroom as long as I was before we left? It was a bit of an uncomfortable ride… buuut.” he leaned forward, “I wanted to be ready for you.”

Jumin felt dizzy.

Zen had stretched himself and properly lubricated himself beforehand.

“My god you’re gonna be the death of my Hyun.” Jumin murmured out as he gazed at Zen with dazed eyes.

Zen’s eyes glimmered playfully in the dim light. “Then we’ll die together.” He said quietly, rolling his hips and pushing himself down onto the girth stretching him out.

Jumin brought a hand up, caressing Zen’s hip with one hand and entwining their fingers. “Together this time… dying and being reborn in this moment...”

Then Jumin was rocking up, matching Zen’s thrusts. There was nothing rough or hard about it this time, no dominance being shown, no forcing to submit. Just a sharing of feelings and pleasure.

 

Zen panted as they fell into a rhythm, rolling his hips more as Jumin pushed deep into him. He tossed his head back as he rode the man below him, mouth going slack with a soft moan as their bodies writhed together.

Jumin watched Zen move, and his heart warmed. There wasn’t much that could move Jumin Han, but he had never felt more at absolute peace than now. In this moment, with their bodies becoming one, Jumin swore he felt an awe that no higher faith could give him. 

Making love to Zen was like glimpsing God.

Zen’s moans escalated as the tip of Jumin’s cock found that wonderful spot inside him, and he brought a hand up to Jumin’s shoulder, gripping it as he arched his back beautifully. “There, Jumin… right there…” He murmured out sweetly.

Jumin smiled warmly, pulling Zen down toward him. “Anything for you, Hyun… my one… my only…” Jumin whispered against his ear. He felt Zen shuddering around him, and he bit his bottom lip as his shaft was squeezed tightly by his lover’s wonderful walls.

“You...ah-” Zen held Jumin tightly, “love… you…” Zen was mouthing words against the crook of Jumin’s neck.

Jumin listened to his lover’s soft moans penetrating his ear, his soul shaking with each broken and jumbled word. He rolled his hips slow as he kissed Zen’s cheek, “I love you too, Hyun… always.” He replied gently. 

Zen teared up, holding him tight. “I love you.” Zen said stronger, “I love you Jumin.” Zen felt like his heart was blooming and bursting forth with saturated feelings of warmth he’d never known. “I love you so much I don’t even think the word love can explain how much I love you.” He panted out. 

Jumin slowed down, rolling his hips lazily. He slid his hands down Zen’s hips, spreading his cheeks apart as he pushed himself in deeper with each thrust, “When you’re sure of your career… when you’re at your peak and are ready… come live with me?” Jumin asked quietly.

Zen panted as he began rocking down onto Jumin again. “Mhm… Of course…”

Jumin picked up the pace again, pressing kisses to Zen’s chin and neck, “And when you’re so big of a star that everyone knows you’re beauty and has fallen in love with you, and you think you’ve done all you want to on your own… Let me get you on international shows… would you let me do that for you and travel with you around the world?” Jumin asked.

“Mmm… mhmm…” Zen nodded as he pressed his face against the side of Jumin’s neck. 

Jumin took this cue to roll them over, resting Zen back against the little bean bag chair. He stilled his hips then, feeling Zen’s legs tighten around him.

“And…” Jumin gazed into Zen’s eyes, getting lost in them “However long it takes, years… decades… however long… When you’re done seeing the world… when you’ve had your fill of the lights and the stage and are ready for a change of pace…” Jumin reached down, his hands easily finding what he had kept on him for months, bringing the pink diamond ring up in-between them, “Marry me?” Jumin whispered.

Zen’s eyes widened as he stared at the ring, looking up at Jumin in shock. 

That shock quickly blossomed into a warm smile, and he pulled Jumin down into a hug.

“Yes…” He sobbed out. “Yes…. Yes of course…” Zen kissed over Jumin’s face. “Even when I’m retired… even when I wanna slow down and get tired of living life in the fast lane… I never want us to stop… Never…. Promise we won’t ever stop?” Zen asked sweetly as he pressed their foreheads together.

Zen’s words, said with such conviction destroyed Jumin’s heart and it was reborn in that moment.

“Always.” Jumin said quietly, before brushing their lips together in a soft kiss, before their bodies started naturally moving together once more. “Nothing will ever stop me from loving you, Hyun.”

Their words slow, their bodies and hearts already too high on their sensual dance to keep up conversation. Zen’s fingers trail down Jumin’s back lovingly, and Jumin pushes further into Zen’s body as if trying to actually merge with him. 

Zen begins to tense, being brought higher and higher until there’s nowhere to go but down, his release hitting him hard as his body went taut and a moan was ripped from his lips. Jumin thrusts a few more times in that tight hugging heat before finding his release with him, pressing as close as he can into Zen before spilling hard and deep inside the man he loves.

Zen moans softly from the feeling, clinging to Jumin and pulling him into a few breathy kisses.

The two lay with eachother, coming down from their small high and not caring for the time passing around them. 

Zen was going to take the world by storm, and he would do it with Jumin. 

When he tired of it, when all was said and done and even when he turned old and gray and didn’t have the passion or energy he once had, he knew his feelings for the other man would never change.

They would have each other, now and forever more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at ending things lol. THERE YOU HAVE IT!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it... ahhh, I have nothing to say other than that. It was so fun writing this and I was sad to see it end, but there's that. I gained inpsiration from a particular part from the doukyuusei manga series, but otherwise that's that.
> 
> I... I may or may not have already started a Yoosung/V fic because I need that in my life lool, but thank you for sticking with me and I love you guys o/


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